We spend so much time talking about books (which is great, don’t get me wrong, because books are life), but sometimes we neglect the people behind the books.

No, I don’t mean the cashier checking out your latest haul, despite the fact that we all know what your TBR looks like. I mean the author. You know, that little humanoid-looking thing that reeks of coffee, appears a bit frazzled, probably hasn’t seen the sun in, like, the last 192 days because deadlines, and is talking to themselves.

But fear not, mortals! Thanks to the digital age, Twitter-stalking these people is super easy and … sort of fun?

Who would’ve thought people who could VOMIT LOVELY DESCRIPTIONS AND PULL WHOLE WORLDS OUT OF THEIR HEADS would be entertaining? Shocking, I know.

This week’s Top Ten Tuesday is authors I’d like to meet. Just in case you need more people to Internet stalk!

I mean, I already Twitter stalk them. That practically makes us best friends, right? Pretty sure someone told me that’s how Twitter works.

So here are some authors that I would love to meet in person. I’ve limited it to the live ones, because while there’s technically no rules to this, I flat-out refuse to mess with Ouija boards and zombies are gonna be a big pass for me, too, which means I’m a bit SOL as far as deceased authors go.

Cait / PaperFury / C.G. Drews

Blog | Instagram | Twitter

 

Would meet because:

✦ Bookdragons need to stick together
✦ I trust people who like cake. They obviously have good taste.
✦ We can be awkward and uncomfortable in public together. Yay?
✦ I approve of sarcasm and humor
✦ Making lists is fun
✦ … sorry, what were we talking about?

I started following Cait on Twitter, and it was probably my first realization that OMG YOU CAN TALK TO AUTHORS. Which seems silly, and obviously I’ve talked to authors before. But I’ve never talked to authors. There’s a difference, I swear.

It probably wouldn’t work, because Cait’s an introvert and I’m an introvert, and let’s face it, we’d end up piled behind separate book forts reading and pretending other humans don’t exist. Also, she happens to live on a continent that is actively trying to kill its inhabitants (who just shrug and apparently don’t care that they’re in mortal danger literally every second of the day?!) and I have a shred of self-preservation and refuse to set foot there.

But it’s still a nice thought. I even would’ve provided the cake.

Seanan McGuire

Website | Twitter

  

Would meet because:

✦ Would be totally acceptable encouraged to bring pics of cats instead of kids
✦ Wicked awesome cosplay skills
✦ Nerdier than I am, which is daunting but impressive
✦ I approve of her Slytheriness
✦ Could probably convince her to join me in taking over the world (see above)
✦ Obviously knows how to have hecka fun
✦ Maybe will teach me her carefree ways

I’ve never actually talked to Seanan McGuire; I’ve just Twitter stalked her. Which sounds creepier than I intended? BUT OMG HAVE YOU SEEN HER CATS?! I have a thing for Maine Coons. The only reason I married my husband is because I got to love on his cranky Maine Coon while we were dating. Allegedly.

Neil Gaiman

Website | Twitter

Would meet because:

✦ Seems like a really fun guy to just have a chat with
✦ Maybe Amanda Palmer will be there, and their relationship is goals
✦ I want to pick his brain (but not in the mad scientist sense)
✦ Okay, maybe also a teensy bit in the mad scientist sense
✦ Simply exudes positivity and charm in every video I’ve ever seen of him
✦ Pretty sure I’d be rich if I could find a way to bottle it up and sell it
✦ And it never hurts to try

It seems really silly to say, given that I’m a writer/reader and he’s a writer/reader, but I actually stumbled on Neil Gaiman through Amanda Palmer? And I followed Amanda Palmer because her personality and everything about her is simply radiant and fabulous, and I’ve actually never heard a single song of hers, and I feel icky just saying that. Needless to say, the two of them seem amazing and humble and also a ton of fun.

Katherine Applegate

Website | Twitter

Would meet because:

✦ Animorphs was 100% of my pre-/early teen years and I want to thank her
✦ The proper way to say thank you is with cake, obviously
✦ Might still have secret knowledge about morphing into animals
✦ Might not, but do you really want to risk missing out on that?
✦ Clearly knows the magic necessary for a long and healthy writing career
✦ I’m willing to learn. Even if it involves human sacrifice
✦ Especially if it involves human sacrifice
✦ Also seems like a fount of wisdom, and I can use some of that

Animorphs was such a crucial part of my childhood. Cassie was actually the first book character I ever read about knowing that she actually looked like me, which was an amazing feeling. One that also lasted for about 0.3 seconds because Rachel was badass and I wanted to be like her and also maybe a little wanted to marry Ax. But, I mean, what eight-year-old doesn’t want to marry a centaur-like alien? Pfft.

D.J. MacHale

Website | Twitter

Would meet because:

✦ Influential in two generations of my family (my daughter and I)
✦ I named my cat Pendragon partly after his book series
✦ 99% sure that means he’s responsible for the cranky old man cat
✦ Seems like a cool guy to just hang out with?
✦ Also probably holds endless wisdom that I should pry out of him
✦ Erm … gently? By asking? Yeah, that’s what I meant.

I used to drive my parents crazy every week because I had to catch Are You Afraid of the Dark without fail, and they always used to mention karma when I have kids, yada, yada. Well, joke’s on them because my daughter loves the show, too, and I still love it, so neener, neener.

Also, he attended college in New York, so we’d probably get on just fine. What I’m saying is it takes a certain type of person to put up with New Yorkers. It’s okay. We already know. In fact, we tend to count on it, because it keeps people from approaching us and interrupting our plans with their nonsense.

If you could meet any author, who would you want to meet and why?