Every job has its perks and shortcomings, and working in a library is really no different.
Except for being surrounded by all the books and sitting there all day listening to them hiss, “Pick meeee,” and totally judging you when you don’t.
Technically, I’m NOT a librarian, per se (not certified, anyway). I’m just the person at the front desk who interacts with everybody and happens to also help shelve books.
Which means I get aaaall the questions. Like all other jobs I’ve had, some are great, and some are … yikes.
I’ve been working at the library for a little over a month now and … guys, I’ve seen some things. I’ve served my time and come out the other side … changed.
These are based on my personal experiences after working there for a little over a month, which is admittedly not a lot of time. But to be fair, I’ve been a patron at this library for, like, seven years and it’s a small town, so I know a lot of people.
The Best Questions
1. Do you have a book about [SUBJECT]? / Can you help me find [BOOK].
Guys, these are quintessential librarian questions. No one takes this job without expecting it, and the answer is always YES! As long as you don’t mind me blundering around blindly at times as I look for it. I will find it eventually, I promise you. Sometimes it just takes a minute. We live for this question. I wish more people asked it. I’m just running around after people like, Why won’t you let me help youuuuu?!
I’ve had patrons apologize to me for asking for help looking for books. Don’t apologize! I’m not sitting there just because I look pretty and smile nice for people entering the building (though, obviously, I totally do). We’re here because we know how the system works (well … mostly) and can quickly and easily find things.
2. I really enjoyed this book by this author. Can you recommend others like it?
Oh, well now, let me just see here what we’ve got. *ahem* *dons a pair of totally unnecessary glasses for dramatic effect*
All I can say is if you ask this question, COME PREPARED TO DO BATTLE with all the books. Because we’ll either have all the recommendations ourselves or know someone who does. Either way, you’re leaving with two bags full of books and probably the gnawing feeling in your gut that you’ve made a horrible mistake. Too late. No take-backs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3. Can you help me do this thing on the computer?
The short answer is: probably. The long answer is: if I can’t, someone else here can. Hopefully without setting too many things on fire or exploding something. But I make no promises.
The great thing about this library, in particular, is that the staff aren’t all bookish people. Which sounds sort of contrary to what you would think, but we’ve got one person who just knows everyone locally and is a great people person, one that just helps with the kids and is great at fixing things, and one that’s a whiz with programming and computers. So long story short, someone can solve your problem, even if it’s not me. And I will find them and force them to serve you, like a proper steward of the people. You’re welcome.
4. Can you help me find this article from the local newspaper published on this date?
This one was so cool, even though one of the women sort of threw me to the wolves and was like … here’s the discs we store the old papers and stuff on GOOD LUCK and left. I’m pretty sure she was cackling in the back, like she does, and I’m just sitting there like …
Luckily, the patron was a regular I’d encountered plenty of times before and had all the patience, and we just WENT ON A FREAKING ADVENTURE, that’s what we did. Spoiler alert: we did find the exact article and got it printed out. It was wild. Also, I got to hear all about the article in particular and parts of the town history, so really, I’m the clear winner in this situation.
5. How do you get your curls to stay so nice?!
IT’S NOT A BOOK QUESTION, OKAY? But still in my top five. Librarians don’t always deal with books, which was one of the more shocking parts of the job, because people will ask aaaall sorts of random questions figuring we know the answer. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we make things up and wait to see how long it takes for the other person to realize. You take your chances.
This is such a vain, personal question, but oh my gosh, I loved it so much. I’m not even the sort that talks about or likes personal beauty all that much. I’ve always straightened my hair, and I get so many comments on the way it looks like that … but I’ve literally never had anyone ask me this question, despite me attempting to embrace my natural hair (which is really medium curls).
CURLY-HAIRED WOMEN, UNITE! Because I will answer this question for you, too: Motions Oil Sheen and Conditioning Spray (with sweet almond oil). I love the smell (even my daughter loves it) and it’s not sticky, but keeps my hair from frizzing/poofing and helps keep it healthy and bouncy. Products with coconut oil and argon oil should behave similarly, but that’s the particular product I use.
(P.S. This woman had lovely hair. It was just humid and rocking that glorious frizz that I’m sure many of you are familiar with.)
The Worst Questions
1. My friend recommended a book. She said she got it here. I can’t remember the title or author, but I think it was about [SUBJECT].
You know, I’ve tried being a mind-reader. It didn’t work. Probably for the best, because I’m easily distracted and obviously would not be able to handle this power.
We can do a lot of things, but this one we’re going to have to phone a friend for. Specifically, your friend. For more information. Any information, really. If we’ve got something to work off of, we can do some amazing things and make some pretty colossal leaps, but this has to be a joint effort, yo.
2. Do you have this book? I think it releases today.
It started with, “Do you have the latest book by this author?” She didn’t know the title, and we went through a few before she said, “I think it releases today.” Well, no, we probably don’t have it, because we’ve never gotten books on their release day, and even if we did, it wouldn’t have been processed yet. But patrons don’t always know that, so fair enough. Oh, Gooooooogle!
Finally found the book she was talking about and looked at the release date and was so confused for a second, because it was scheduled to release the next day. I was like, Wait, what day is today? Am I in the future?!
But nope, nothing that cool. Simple case of mixing up release dates, which happens to the best of us. This question isn’t even necessarily a bad question so much as an ill-informed one, because a library receiving a book isn’t like when you preorder something from Amazon and it shows up on your doorstep on release morning (or sometimes a day or two beforehand, if you’re super lucky) and is immediately ready to be read.
3. When are you getting [BOOK] in?
Oh, oh, oh, wait, I know the answer to this one! Let me just consult my handy-dandy mind-reading/decision-making tool here for just a moment.
I have no idea. Honestly. If I could tell you, I would. I swear (often and vehemently). Actually, we have a policy about not giving guesstimates, because people tend to get mad if you tell them a date you think it’ll be in and then it’s not there. So we just don’t, because there’s no predicting how all the other cogs in the system will move in order to get you the book you want, whether it’s a new order or a hold.
4. Do you like working here?
This is a no-win question right here, and I’m of the opinion that you should never ask anyone this at their job. Talk about putting someone on the spot. And what if you don’t like it but still need the job? I mean, what are you going to say? No, I hate it here?
For me, honestly, I chose this job and was super lucky to have that choice, but that means I’m here because I want to be. So you best believe I like working at the library, and even if I didn’t, I’m gonna lie through my teeth when you’re asking me at work because I want to keep working there. Totally not the place to gripe.
But also … I’ve wanted to be a librarian since I was a little girl and work among all the books and help people with their meetcutes encountering their bookmates and give them all the recommendations and YES, YOU CUTE LITTLE ONION, I’M OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH THIS JOB.
5. Are you new?
This is an understandable question, on the one hand, because yeah, I am. On the other, if you come in often enough to realize that … you already know the answer to this question. Other better questions to ask: What’s your name? How long have you been working here? When did you start working here? Are you a body snatcher or a shapeshifter? … how many ways do you know to get away with murder and/or hide a body?
Also, I was sitting there while someone asked my colleague this question … and he’s been there for six months. And has helped this person previously. But they just said hi to me and kept right on.
This question doesn’t bother me, because I feel like it’s a pretty normal, knee-jerk sort of a question. But it’s also a big time waster, and I got it so many times in the first two weeks.
Chat With Me
What are some of the best/worst questions you’ve ever gotten at your job?
Congrats on your job! Libraries are great places to be.
Thanks so much! They really are, and I’m just so thrilled to work there. It’s a major pay cut, so I’m actually juggling two jobs, but it was so worth it to me that it was an easy choice to make. :3
I worked in a bookstore for two glorious years. But some of the questions were so dumb! My favorite was, “Do you have the book with the purple cover? It was on Oprah today.” See there’s all kind of issues with that question. Many books have purple covers and I worked all day. I hadn’t seen Oprah. I asked if she knew the author, the title, or at least a summary? She just kept telling me it was the purple book on Oprah. The next day at work we had set up an aisle called, “As seen on Oprah.” Lol!
Man, at least you have the chance to do that at a bookstore, and I feel like that can be good feedback, you know. I mean, delivered in the most frustrating way ever, because really, people. xD But I bet that aisle was pretty popular after that LOL.
I mean, in that instance, I can try to Google Oprah’s recommendations and see if I can find it that way, but other than that … nope. Still not a mind-reader. xD
I feel like this is the most common frustrating question I’ve heard from people working with books and the public.
Well, back in the day, we didn’t have Google. That would have made my life a whole lot easier. LOL!
I have to tell you, even Google doesn’t always help. xD It made me think of you, because after posting this, I had someone ask for a recent release with “War” in the title, but she didn’t know anything else about it.
Lol! 🤣
I have to say, the question about your curly hair is my favorite😁
I was definitely so tickled by it. xD
This is such a fun post! I love all the questions and I hope you will continue to enjoy working at the library. And maybe even write more posts about it in the future. Have you changed anything in your own reading habits after starting this job?
Thanks! I had a lot of fun. Maybe when I hit six months, I’ll do a round two, since with the holidays coming up, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of more stories. xD
I haven’t yet, but I’ve been considering it. Our patrons read an overwhelming amount of mystery books, so I’ve actually considered making a more concerted effort to read more mystery books. Now, whether I will or not remains to be seen, since fantasy, sci-fi, YA, and mid-grade are my niches (and honestly, only one other person who works there reads sci-fi/fantasy, but adult books, and that’s it). It seems like the older people working there more fit with the regulars’ reading patterns, so they seem to have it covered, and my tastes fill a niche they don’t have covered yet (particularly YA and mid-grade). So I’m still waffling back and forth on that one. xD
I guess it makes sense to stick to your current reading, if you cover a niche compared to your colleagues. It may be nice to have a little bit of insight into the mystery genre though, if that is a popular choice. I love mysteries, so if you decide to read (and review) a few, I won’t object 😉
Tell you what, if you come across any really good mysteries, you can shoot a recommendation my way. 😉
“Are you new here?” seems like a potentially loaded question. Are they implying you don’t seem to know what you’re doing? Are they about to get personal in a maybe creepy way? Are they trying to ask you out with a bad pick-up line? I just wouldn’t ask someone that question! It has nothing to do with their job, so it seems a bit off limits. A genuine compliment to the curls is, however, always lovely!
To be fair, none of them meant it in a negative way. Just commenting on the fact that they hadn’t seen me working there before. It wasn’t mean-spirited in any way, but it also just … doesn’t accomplish anything. xD
I adored this post. Do you think you’ll write any follow-ups to it?
I’m sure thinking about it. Maybe after I’ve been there six months. We’ll see if I get any more really wacky questions? lol.
So much fun! I used to work in a library (I also worked the front desk as a library clerk) and we weren’t allowed to answer the recommendation questions. We had to direct patrons to the librarian’s desk. We did still get lots of questions, though, and we would giggle with the librarians about some of the ones they were asked. I loved the “it has a blue cover and it’s about a dog” style of questions. I loved it even more that our librarians WERE MAGIC and could very often find the book based on such limited information.
Bummer that you couldn’t give recommendations. That’s half the fun. D: Our library is so tiny, though, that if we tried to have that dichotomy, it would just … fall apart.
I’m always amazed when people can actually do that! Unfortunately, with the Internet, people hear about a book and don’t even check if we have it before they come in and ask vague questions about it. So now I’m not even having to think of a book in our catalog, but one that we may or may not own. xD Your librarians need to teach me some magic haha.
I don’t know how they do it! It’s amazing. But I’ve seen book displays designed around that theme where the main thing tying the books together is the color of the cover, and those are so much fun!
I love all the different sorts of displays people come up with! We don’t really do displays at our library, which is a shame, because I think we could have fun with it. Or I would, anyway. I don’t know if anyone else would. xD
I never got to make the displays, but I did get to tidy them up after patrons had looked through them without actually checking out the books. It was always fun to see what the librarians came up with. 🙂
Lol! Love this post. Thanks for sharing all those questions – some a bit stupid, aren’t they?! 😉 I’m glad you love your job and I hope you’ll save all those weirdly wonderful questions and write another post next year. x
Thank you! Who knows, maybe everyone will surprise me and I won’t get any more weird questions? We can dream, right? 😛 But hey, it also keeps the job fun and entertaining. You never know what’ll come up from day to day. xD
Have you had to call the cops yet? Because I’ve done that more than I can count. I have seen fights, overdoses, drunks, and all kinds of stuff. I actually don’t like helping people on the computer, because it’s always the SAME people wanting the SAME help.
Me personally, no. But I’ve heard some stories. xD Oooh, I can see how that’d get frustrating, if they’re not actually learning and just want help every time. I haven’t had that. We do have a couple people who just don’t know how to use computers and ask us to print things off, but that’s super easy and I prefer that to showing them how to do it every time when they don’t care to learn and don’t intend to. xD
As a supervisor, I’m the one that has to call the cops and deal with the problems. So it can be super frustrating. It is sometimes easier to just print it for them, for sure.
My first job was at a library (and several more since then) and you do indeed learn things quickly. Things you never thought about, things you didn’t know existed, and things you wish you didn’t know. One thing I learned quickly was that the library was a safe space for EVERYONE. I still love that about a library. I did rescue one of my dogs from the library. She got inside and the dude that tried to claim her was hitting her so…mine. I named her Belle.
Love your list and it really takes me back!
Oh yes. It’s a constant learning experience, interlaced with some random flailing, confused sighs, and sometimes existential despair. xD I love that it’s a safe space, especially since we have a small community, so it’s also a little bit of a community hub here.
Aww that’s such a cute story about your pupper! I’m glad you rescued her.
[…] seemed to enjoy the post I did about my best/worst questions patrons asked after being at the library for a month. But now it’s been four months and, […]