Title: F*ck Your Diet: And Other Things My Thighs Tell Me
Author: Chloé Hilliard
Publication Date: January 7, 2020
Publisher: Gallery Books
Format: NetGalley eARC

From the moment I saw the title, I knew I needed to read this book. It clearly spoke to me.

I’m going to confess that I had absolutely no idea who Chloé Hilliard was … and I almost prefer it that way. I mean, yeah, sure, I read books from comedians I know, but sometimes it’s fun just to discover some nonfiction with no pre-judgment or expectations.

F*ck Your Diet is part memoir, part social commentary. It’s one woman’s journey to self-acceptance, while also acknowledging the ways society sets her up for failure.

Sometimes it’s easier to avoid the pitfalls when you know what they are and can see them coming. When I picked up this book, I had absolutely no idea what to expect, and overall, I was pleasantly surprised. Hilliard clearly has spent some time poking around in my brain, because this book was so freaking relatable, despite the few times her and I just didn’t see eye-to-eye.

❧ I knew from the very first line that Chloé and I were going to get on juuuust fine.

Because my gosh, this right here is a mood. It’s the sort of thing I’ve heard from the women in my family since I was young, always followed by a laugh and a wink, and as a grown woman, I feel that. But also … why do we do this to ourselves?

❧ There were several chapters that were enlightening as to what it’s like growing up as a lower class black girl, and it was nice seeing another person’s perspective.

Because let’s face it, I’m black, but I wasn’t raised black. My family’s white and middle class, and I benefited from so many privileges growing up. Which makes all the more important for me to read other people’s experiences, to stay humble and remind myself how lucky I am. Also, just to hear other people’s truths and know where their struggles were and how their life was coming up.

Some of the experiences were funny, especially regarding Hilliard’s grandmother and family, and some were just insightful and uplifting.

Of course, some were downright depressing, because life happens. The thing I particularly loved is that Hilliard was honest and raw about all of it, even the negative things, and constantly emphasized the fact that life is a journey. It can’t all be coasting downhill.

❧ At times, there’s a hard critical look at the role/place of people of color in society in general.

If you can’t go in with an open mind, this book probably isn’t for you, because it’s got some hard truths and some even harder opinions. Hilliard doesn’t shy away from the race thing. Some of it was hard to read, even for myself, but that’s the beauty of an opinion. The book is from her perspective. I mean, I’m quite happily in a long interracial relationship, so hearing why she doesn’t date white guys anymore makes me sad … but also, my experience with dating my white husband is vastly different from hers, and that’s important.

Hilliard doesn’t take a “woe is me” approach, and often tries to lighten social commentary with humor surrounding her own experience, which made it a nice balance of lightness with the dark.

Despite being a solid realist (okay, maybe a slightly pessimistic realist?), I appreciated her optimism and grace. The way Hilliard called out problems while also finding the positives in them and the potential they can lead to something made it more of an uplifting read.

❧ Hilliard talks a lot about body image and an attempt to get healthy, and I feel attacked, y’all, but also oddly seen?

There were times I just couldn’t stop laughing, because her struggles were things I also struggled with. Clearly, we’re kindred souls whose thighs are just undermining everything we try to do. Stupid thighs.

Hilliard takes the reader through a montage of diets and fitness regimes she tried with varying success, always with a slightly tongue-in-cheek approach.

Because diet and exercise is hard, yo. And sometimes, there’s more going on than what it seems. Hilliard calls out the struggles some people have in this regard, including food deserts, lack of access, and lack of education. Plus, you know, the fact that a hamburger is $1 and an apple is, like, $2, which is … problematic?

❧ I went into this book expecting 100% less facts and statistics than were presented.

I was impressed, not gonna lie. I thought this would just be cute little anecdotes, but nope. Hilliard cuts no slack at all in calling out problems with society, backed up with statistics (and yes, she cites her sources). The book doesn’t read like a disertation, don’t get me wrong, but she’s clearly thought about her past experiences and added up all the factors that led her there.

While it’s true that our choices are our own, there are sooo many factors that lead us to any one decision.

Hilliard pieces together some of these influences to give a broader picture. Very few people are just randomly born overweight. There are many paths to the same outcome, and there are so many things that influence a person along the way.

❧ As a fellow creative type … Hilliard’s struggle with creativity had me laughing while my soul cried just a little.

I mean, I’ve been writing for a while. I’ve taken a lot of writing classes and had a lot of “mentors” and received a lot of advice, both good and bad. So when Hilliard starts talking about her path to becoming a comedian and, in particular, her improv classes, I was dying. Her story is a really interesting one, and her path to being a comedian is anything but “normal,” so it was a fun ride.

❧ Hilliard is very passionate about some things, so her narrative at times becomes very preachy and prescriptive.

Which felt weird, considering the overall vibe the book seems to be going for is love yourself and overall acceptance. She’s very pro-vegan and anti-red meat. Which is fine. But I love bacon and hamburgers. Sometimes together, but also apart.

❧ I confess: I skimmed the chapter on sex.

I KNOW. I’m disappointed in myself, too. Especially since the whole point of the chapter, or the part I actually read, was that it’s important to have these discussions because sex matters. And I agree. But let’s just say that our experiences in this arena are vastly different, as are our opinions, so I just passed on this one.

❧ Based on the title and blurb, I thought this would be about Hilliard’s struggle with weight and self-acceptance, and it was, but it was also a whole lot more, to the point where it felt a little random.

There were a lot of chapters about a lot of things, and it eventually came back to the health/weight stuff, but it was sometimes a bit meandering. It wasn’t bad, necessarily, but I didn’t expect it, and I had a little trouble at times following the train of thought and circling back to the original idea.

What catchy title would you use to sum up your autobiography, if you were going to write one?