I think it’s safe to say that everyone here is a reader … but not all readers are made the same.
Oh, sure, there’s the obvious differences, like tastes in books, formats used to read, whether you break the spine or dog-ear the book, etc. These are all surface-level differences, though. The real difference between readers is how they react to books, their little idiosyncracies that are uniquely them. Like throwing books that make them angry. Or hoping for character deaths. Or rooting for villains. Or insisting these two characters get together, even though they hate each other, because can’t they see that they’re meant to be already?!
So this is where my confession comes in. Guys, I’m a bad reader. Specifically where the characters are involved.
If you were a character, you would not want me to be your reader. I’d be the person all the characters see and start screaming and praying to their gods and abandoning hope. I can’t help it. I imagine characters in all sorts of books tell their children horror stories of the mad lady who cackles gleefully while they suffer.
Today’s Top Ten Tuesday is supposed to be books I enjoyed but rarely talk about … but I think I pretty well talk about my favorite books. I’m sure you’re sick of me raving about them already.
So I’m going to pivot a little bit (read: do something totally different). I thought this would be more fun and not cause you to groan as I talk about certain books yet again, in the attempt to convince you all to read them. (By the way … have you read them yet?! You know what I’m talking about, don’t pretend you don’t).
So without further ado, here are ten ways that I’m a bad reader, especially from the characters’ point of views.
I will forget your name. Repeatedly.
In fact, odds are I’ve called you Bob in my head multiple times, even though it’s nothing like your name. Or I’ve simply renamed you with a cute shortening of your name. Not because I can’t say it, but because I can’t say it right. And I’m not even talking ethnic names, which I can (and do) Google. But some of these fantasy names have more consonants than I thought was possible, and for some reason, they’re all shoved together with nary a vowel in sight. Or the name is simply too long. Do you know how much time is being shaved off my lifespan every time I have to read your 28-character name? It’s literally killing me slowly, a little every single time I read it. So Bob it is.
I will skip the boring parts.
Look, I’m sure it’s important to know the exact layout of your house and what everything is made from and how you obtained them, but … that’s ten pages of my life I’ll never get back. A house is a house. You’ve got one. Huzzah! Let’s move on now. More stabby death, please.
I’m notoriously bad for skipping scenes if they lose my interest. Too much description? SKIP! Oh, you’re about to woohoo? SKIP! The main character is whining about something that they can totally solve if they put their mind to it? SKIP! Also, maybe low-key rooting for your death (but more on that later).
I want to see you suffer.
It’s nothing personal, I swear. It’s just … well, you’re kind of boring when you’re happy. No, strike that. You’re completely intolerable when you’re happy. Suffering may not be fun, but it makes you infinitely more interesting. They say misery enjoys company for a reason. No one likes someone who seemingly has everything handed to them. So … work for it. I will appreciate you so much more for the effort you put in when things don’t quite go your way. And if you happen to die in the process? Hmm … well … my bad?
I will roll my eyes if you wax poetic about your love interest.
Emphatically. Vigorously. Even if you’ve known him for two weeks already, and it’s very clearly love (despite not knowing his middle name or if he leaves his dirty clothes all over the floor or if he’d kill you in your sleep) and you’re obviously meant to be together. Okay, especially then.
I’ll make an exception if you’ve been with your love interest forever already. But if you’ve just met them? Pump the brakes, yo. How about you learn something more about them other than they’re hot before you start dreaming of weddings and babies? How about you find out their secrets first? Because rest assured, they always have secrets. And if you haven’t figured that out yet, you’re not ready for love, you sweet summer child, you.
I will not remember what you look like. No matter how many times you tell me.
Okay, that’s not quite true. I know that Harry Potter has green eyes. Well, except in the movie. But that means I’m not completely hopeless. I don’t care how many times you tell me about a character’s golden curls and blue eyes, I’m still probably picturing him with black hair and green eyes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I am so bad at paying attention to the details of characters’ appearances that I’m often surprised at fan art or official art, because it’s nothing like what I was imagining in my head. Why am I like this?!
I will judge you. Often. And harshly.
Sometimes about the weirdest things. Oh, you sleep with a lot of people? Yeah, okay, I’m cool with that. You do you. But you have a really lame love triangle and you can’t decide between these two men, so you keep dragging one along even though it’s obvious you’re never actually going to end up with him? I have WORDS for you ma’am. WORDS! All of them! And none of them very nice!
I am also very much judging you if you:
✿ Keep saying you’re smart, but then do stupid things.
✿ Claim to be independent, but can’t successfully do anything on your own.
✿ Fall in love for no reason and throw away all common sense.
✿ Always need to be saved, because you’re helpless and hopeless.
✿ Defend the villain after they’ve done obvious villainy things to you.
I will hope for your death.
Well, some of you. It’s nothing personal. It’s just that your death will be infinitely more interesting than your life, such as it is. Hmmm. Okay, maybe it’s a little personal.
What can I say? Death is interesting. Especially when he shows up as a character, but even when that’s not the case, it’s still true. Death shakes things up, breaks hearts, and sometimes, let’s admit it, is a good way to get rid of a dull character. There’s always at least one character whose death you’re rooting for. It happens. At that point, death can be a relief. See? It’s multifaceted! Which obviously makes it good material.
Sometimes characters have to die for the greater good of the book. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
I will root for your villain.
Okay, I know they’ve done some horrible things, but hear my out … maybe they have a point? Maybe you deserved it. Maybe you’re not so angelic or innocent yourself. Maybe, after all this time, I’ve judged you so harshly that the only happy ending I can see at this point is if the villain wins. Hopefully not that one, but hey, it sometimes happens.
Villains should be the heroes of their own story. They should have motives, and sometimes those motives are understandable. Heroic, almost. Sometimes the villain is just obviously right and deserves to win, because y’all done messed up, okay? You need to own that mess.
I will keep pertinent information from you.
If I’m honest, I’ll probably cackle while I do it. Maybe I’ll even get immense pleasure out of knowing something you don’t. The sort of something that may have made a big difference in your life and/or death. It’s nothing personal. But who doesn’t love surprises? Like, heeeey, everyone you know and love is about to die because you made a poor decision … SURPRISE! *throws confetti* Eh, I probably could’ve helped you avoid it, but … *shrug* How boring would that be?
I will move into your world and never leave.
HI, NEW NEIGHBOR. You know all that horrible stuff I did before? Yeeeeah, sorry about all that. We should be friends, because I’m not going anywhere for a while. I’ve decided I like this place, so I think I’ll stay for a bit. But we should be friends, despite everything, okay? I promise I’ll stop wishing for your death. Mostly. As long as you stop telling me about your love life. Deal?
I often forget characters’ names, too! When I’m working on a review, I literally have to make a list of everyone’s names and how they know each other so I don’t mix names up in my review. LOL.
My TTT.
Lydia recently posted…Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Topics I Could Give an Impromptu Speech On
Ha ha, I’m sort of glad I’m not a character in a book after reading this, lol😁
Tammy @ Books, Bones & Buffy recently posted…THE AGE OF WITCHES by Louisa Morgan – Review
I was going to pretend to be offended, but I couldn’t even do that with a straight face. Yeah, that’s totally fair. xD I can’t blame you one bit for that lol.
I’ve learned not to return books until *after* I write the review, because I do this more often than I care to admit. xD
Ha! I love this! I forget names of characters and their descriptions all the time! I normally do my review right after I’ve finished reading so it’s fresh and STILL I can’t remember some characters names. I also have a bad habit of imagining characters how I want them to be, and ignoring the writers descriptions haha. I’m also super impatient when it comes to love stories and just want them to get together already, jeeze!
Casey @ Tayside Book Blog recently posted…Top 10 Tuesday April 14, 2020
Oh my gosh, same! I always have to have the book in front of me when I do a review, because I’m like … the side character … the one with the thing … you know who did the thing … I’m pretty sure his name started with a D. *looks it up* Okay, nope, it was George, xD
That Dean gif is an excellent choice – I feel the same way when it comes to that kind of stuff!
Ha, thanks! I love using Supernatural GIFs. They’re always so expressive, and there’s one for just about everything. xD
I too can never, ever remember people’s names 🙂
I’m so happy to see that I’m not the only one who struggles with this. xD
Love your twist this week! And I’m terrible at remember descriptions of characters, too. I’m usually surprised by fanart, as well. 😉
Dedra @ A Book Wanderer recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: My Five-Star Reads That Have Less Than Four Stars on Goodreads
If I’m honest, most of the reason I love looking at fan art is so that I can steal someone else’s mental image of a character because I’ve got nothing. xD
Oh wow, I’ve felt called out a lot on blog posts before, but until now, never for being a “bad” reader. I would have never realized it, but each time I got to a new point, I had to pause for a moment in realization that “I do this”. Forgetting names and descriptions are the main ones here because, honestly, who can remember all that for all the characters in all the books? But I do find myself skipping the boring parts or rooting for the villain way more often than not.
Holliehocks @ My Thing About Books recently posted…TTT: Books I Enjoyed but Rarely Talk About
Honestly, I never thought about it until, like, last weekend when I kept struggling to remember a character’s name from the book I’m reading, and I realized I do this a lot. xD And then once I thought of that, I was like … wow, these poor characters whose books I read. LOL.
I can’t stand when writers describe everything and actively skip those parts. I think it’s some flashback to having to read Hawthorne and him going on and on for pages about a fan rosebush! I get it’s symbolic or whatever, but it’s a rosebush! I’ve seen one or two in my day.
I read almost exclusively classics for such a long time during my childhood that I 100% buy this. Back then, I was young and naive and didn’t know you could skip things if you wanted to. I got all my descriptions upfront, enough to keep for the rest of my life. xD Pretty sure that’s how it works, right?
I love the way you switched it up! Very refreshing 🙌🏾
Thanks! I had fun with it.
I feel all of these! I definitely want the villain to actually have a chance and hate it when a characters’ entire personality is their love life.
So agree! I like romance more when it’s a subplot, usually, because I want the characters having something else going for them lol.
Well, your post made me laugh. I think modern books aren’t constructed to make us pay attention and that’s why we forget so many things. I usually read classics but I can think of a few modern books I’ve read that I can’t remember a thing about them. Ooops!
Now you need to go and write a comedy, lol!
Cleo @ Classical Carousel recently posted…Books on my Spring TBR 2020
To be fair, I think this is more me than the books, because I do the same thing with the classics I read! My brain has a hole in it, obviously.
So funny that you say that, because I do actually write comedic fantasy. xD But also … writing is hard.
This is such a fun idea! The two I related to the most are always forgetting characters’ names (it’s really bad. I can read an entire series and still get the main character’s name wrong 😂) and never remembering what people look like. I’ve been in the middle of a series and suddenly realize that this dark-skinned, buzz cropped guy I’ve been picturing this whole time is actually a blonde, blue-eyed guy or whatever 😬❤️
Anna Nicholson recently posted…Spellhacker Book Review- The Magic Thieves
Oh my gosh, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that, too. When I was reading Six of Crows, I totally pictured Kaz as a dark red-head … and then it mentioned his black hair or something like 3/4 of the way through the book. And I was like … oh. Disappointing. xD
Oh man, I have trouble remembering what characters (or settings) look like, too. This is the one way when it works better for me if I’m reading a book that has already been made into a movie or TV show: whether the actor is a good fit for the description or not (aka Harry Potter’s eye color) it at least gives me someone to visualize when thinking about the character.
Nicole @ BookWyrmKnits recently posted…The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Yes! This is why I love when books are turned into movies. It gives me a point of reference that I don’t normally have.
Of course, sometimes this backfires. For example, Alexander Hamilton will forever look like Lin Manuel-Miranda in my mind and be nerdily charmish and super witty and sharp-tongued. xD Oops? Eh, I’m sure it’s fine. History was never my thing anyway lol.
I definitely forget what characters look like. My other problem then is my brain will make up what they look like and then I’ll read a new description and be like “what? I thought they had blue eyes!” 😀
Ugh, yes, every time. And then I have such a hard time trying to reconcile my mental image with this new information, and my brain just sort of rolls over and dies. xD
“I will roll my eyes if you wax poetic about your love interest” – yup, I definitely do this as well, haha. I have no patience for most romance…
Jenna @ Falling Letters recently posted…The Buy Nothing, Get Everything Plan [NF Review]
So glad I’m not the only one. xD I want my romance to be slow burn, slightly stabby, and not the main focus of the story lol.
LOL. I mean….suffering can be good, right? If you love watching characters suffer you should definitely read Carol Berg’s books. Another good one for that is Courtney Schafer. 🙂
Oooh, gonna go check out both those authors! I totally love watching characters suffer. Erm … I mean … hmm … is there a way normal humans make this sound not creepy? xD
I love this and tend to do some of the same things. I’m especially horrible with names.
It seems like a lot of readers are, and this gives me so much hope. xD Seems like there’s an awful lots of Bobs and Freds out there lol.
I can forget a character’s name from a book I just finished moments ago. It’s sad really. LOL. So I get that.
Oh gosh, I do that all the time, too. Even though I know I *should* know the character’s name. I’m awful.
AHAHA #1… Oh, you mean like every single character except for Serefin in the WS/RG books?! I am going to be calling Malachiasz Bob from now on!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Hahaha… Oh lordy, I love this list! There’s so much YAAAS in it! Maybe not so much the death stuff on my part, but the other things… YAAS! I’m here for it all! I guess this makes me a bad reader too 🤣 Especially when it comes to remembering what characters look like and skimming through… many… parts… LOL hilarious and awesome list, Sammie!
YES, JUST LIKE THAT, DINI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? Mal, okay? His name is Mal, and she’s Nadya, and frig I can’t remember anyone’s name, but at least we have Serefin to cling to, and surely that counts for something.
This cracked me up! I am guilty of some as well- I NEVER know what characters look like! I didn’t even pick up on the Harry Potter green eyes, I just knew he had a scar and looks uncannily like Daniel Radcliffe 😂) and I know NO ONE’s name. If Goodreads didn’t exist, all my reviews would be like “MC”, “MC’s best friend”, “That one guy who did that stuff”, etc. So. But I am usually way TOO sympathetic to the characters. Like “aw sweetie you walked into that raging snowstorm in flip flops? Lemme help with the amputation”. Though I ABSOLUTELY get irrationally mad with the insta-love. Because NO what is wrong with you!? And it’s 99% of the time a girl swooning over some dumb dude who you know is going to do her dirty. No thank you!
Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight recently posted…Let Me Love You
I only picked up on the green eyes because it was repeated over and over again that he had Lily’s eyes. xD I’m glad I’m not the only hopeless one when it comes to that, though. And oh my gosh, yes! Sometimes I have to check reviews for names and hope someone mentioned them in their review because I’ve got nothing haha.
You know what? I would 100% read a book about a male immediately swooning over a girl *without the author making him a creepy stalker* just because it’d at least be something new. And the female being the hard badass that’s just like, nah, I can’t be tamed, thanks. xD
Lol this was hilarious to read! I forget character names and what they look like too often.
Thanks! I’m so glad I’m not the only one. xD
Sammie… I can’t help but realise that the majority of this list involves pain, suffering and death – as well as you joining the dark side…
Can I ship cakes to the dark side?? Or do I have to – THAT’S IT I’M JOINING THE DARK SIDE! I bet the cake tastes better anyway.
While I do enjoy a little bit of suffering with my evening tea, there are some characters who just don’t deserve such anguish (for example, all the precious angels in The Raven Cycle)… but then there are also a lot who kinda do sooooo wen can’t just stop hurting everyone… RESUME THE PAIN!
There are a lot of side characters who mess with the MCs quest that irk me. It hurts because they are so obviously snakey, but the MC just… doesn’t know how to use their eyes or brain apparently just because he’s flashes some muscles and teeth. *sigh*
Shall we just turn up in their world, like moving in with things that don’t exist in their world, and they’re all , “Excuse me, who the heck are you?” and we can just stare at them. For an uncomfortable amount of time like “I knew there was a reason I didn’t like you…”
Lin @ The Reader of a Thousand Stars recently posted…Books I Enjoyed But Rarely SQUEEE About
I mean … if we’re honest … is there really any side other than the dark side worth joining? The cakes are delicious. They taste like … evil laughter and scheming. It’s brilliant.
Listen. I’m fine with my precious beans suffering, as long as they SURVIVE. Authors need to stop killing my favorites. At this point, it feels a lot like a conspiracy. xD
YES! This sounds like a great plan. We just need to make sure their pointy things are far enough away so they won’t maim us, but YES! Sign me up.
I am totally guilty of forgetting book character names ALL THE TIME. Why does it have to be so hard?
I’m sure it’s a conspiracy. For what, I’m not sure, but that’s what I’m going with. xD