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Prologue: This Reader Becomes A Hero

“It’s been a whole lot of nothing lately, hasn’t it Carl?” I huff as I lay back in the grass, staring up at the sky through the canopy of trees.

Carl says nothing, but I can feel his frustration mix with my own. A rock such as he wasn’t meant to just lay around doing nothing.

You know what I mean. Work with me.

“Some wizard,” I mutter, chucking a stick off further into the woods. It makes a satisfying thwoop as it travels and smacks off a trunk with a muted fwop. That’s when I notice an altogether different noise that’s not entirely out of place in a forest: the flutter of wings.

It’s the loudness, though, that gets me. One would expect to find wings fluttering in the trees, not several feet from one’s head. Unless one knows how to fly, I suppose. Not a luxury I have, though.

I already asked the wizard. He laughed. Then slammed the door in my face.

“What is that?” I ask. As usual, Carl’s not talking, so I crane my neck around just as the sound stops.

A giant moth stretches its wings on a tree a few feet away. Calling it a moth is an understatement, really. This thing could probably pick up Carl and spirit him away if it had a mind to. Oh, and there was the little matter of it having a skull emblazoned across its wings.

“That’s … probably just a coincidence, right? Nothing ominous at all about that.”

Carl clearly has his doubts, the traitor.

When I’m finally able to pull my eyes off the rather obvious skull, I notice it’s holding something. There appears to be some sort of scroll in its … feet? Talons? Gripper-things?

I don’t know, I didn’t study moth anatomy. Leave me alone.

I grab the scroll before I get lost down the rabbit hole of wondering who would choose a moth to deliver important letters? No surprise the message is from the wizard. Guess it all makes sense now, doesn’t it?

Dear hero, your first quest is this:
to seek the demon in the abyss.
There lurks a beast, in winter’s thrall,
who terrorizes travelers, one and all.
You must climb the Treacherous Spire
and force this tyrant to retire.

“Who writes this mess?” I ask aloud. For a moment, I consider just throwing the scroll in the river and claiming never to have gotten it. But no, Carl is too honest for that. He’d rat on me in a second. Look at that face. It’s no good at keeping secrets.

With a resigned sigh, I tuck the parchment in my cloak and brush the dirt off of my clothes.

“Well, let’s get on with this, Carl. Looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us.”

Standing at the base of the mountain, several things occur to me in quick succession.

1. I should’ve picked the magic book. At least if it exploded or something, I’d be warm. Rocks aren’t much good on that front. (Forgive me, Carl.)
   
2. How much do I really know about this wizard anyway?
   
3. Snow sucks. More snow sucks more.
   
4. The Treacherous Spire is the dumbest name for a landmark I’ve ever heard. I thought for sure it was a riddle or something, but no. I asked the locals. That’s what they named the thing. Can’t account for taste, I guess.

The mountain is cold, even at its base. Not “when-will-this-winter-end-I’m-ready-for-spring-cold,” but “the-ice-has-invaded-my-bones-and-I-am-now-90%-ice-queen-with-none-of-the-benefits” cold. Can bones shatter if they get too cold? Something I probably should’ve looked up before taking on this mission. Oh well.

I adjust my backpack, make sure Carl is snuggled safely in my pocket, and start the long trek up the mountain.

I’m breathing a little hard by the time I reach the den at the peak. Definitely not winded, as Carl suggests.

Though I noticed he rode in my pocket the entire time and did absolutely none of the work.

“So what is this beast, anyway?” I ask. I flip open the scroll and scan it again, but there doesn’t seem to be any clues. Guess I’ll just have to find out the hard way.

I clear my throat and stick my head into the cave. It’s so dark, I can barely see a few feet in front of me. “Hello?” I ask, and the darkness throws my voice back at me, slightly deeper and distorted.

Yeah, pass. That’s a big no for me on entering the giant black murder hole, thanks. I yank my head back out of the dark as a tremor passes through the mountain.

“Did you feel that, Carl? No? Well, I guess not, packed in a puffy jacket pocket like you are. No, you’re right, now’s not the time. I’m sorry.” I sigh and push my hair out of my eyes. Maybe it was just a momentary—

The mountain pitches this time, so viciously that I topple into the snow to my right. I throw my arms around a boulder as the ground continues to shake.

“Yes, I know you’re not supposed to go around grabbing random rocks!” I shout at Carl over the noise. “I realize how rude it is. Take care of angry murder beast now, lecture me on my etiquette later, please, Carl!”

Everything falls quiet, and there’s no time even to rejoice, because the light is being swallowed by a giant, hulking beast as it steps from the den. I’m now firmly in its shadow—which if I’m honest is still better than its belly—and it’s even colder now. Not quite as cold, though, as its pristine blue-white body, gleaming in the sunlight.

“Is that … ice?” I ask, squinting against the glare. “Yes, no, I see all the pointy ridges on it. I’m well aware each one could probably do a good job of skewering me. Yes, Carl, thank you. I’m glad you chose now to point that out.”

The beast roars, knocking me onto my butt. In a rush of wind, two wings erupt from its side and stretch impossibly high around it.

A dragon. It’s a freaking dragon.

It draws a long inhale, and summoning all the tidbits I know about dragons, I decide to skedaddle. Scooting and skittering on four legs across the snow, I manage to make it behind an outcrop before it unleashes its breathe.

Ice, though, not fire. Ice for an ice dragon.

“Doesn’t it know that dragons are supposed to breathe fire?!” I shout at Carl. This creature is an affront to all dragonkind. I’m almost offended on behalf of all other dragons.

“How do you suppose you kill an ice dragon?” I muse. “No, probably not with kindness, Carl. Honestly.”

Another bellow shudders the mountain, and I roll away from the outcrop seconds before the rocks explode into little ice fragments—very pretty, probably deadly ice fragments, shining in the afternoon sun. It’d be picturesque if everything about this mountain wasn’t trying to kill me right now.

“Heat!” I shout at Carl. “Warmth melts ice!” I grunt as I slide into a crevice and duck below a spray of ice. “Excuse you, Carl! Okay, I might be a little cold-hearted, but it’s not like I was going to rip my heart out and chuck it at the dragon, anyway, thank you very much! Wait.”

I try to reposition myself in the little space available and pull Carl out of my pocket. “What? No, I’m not ripping my heart out.”

I tuck myself into a squat with my arm back, waiting for my moment. The minute the ice barrage lets up, I spring up and unceremoniously chuck Carl at the dragon. “Go, Carl! Do your thing!”

Without any noise or pomp whatsoever, Carl lands square in the dragon’s eye. Or maybe there was a noise, I dunno. Sure couldn’t hear it over the bellowing dragon. It stumbles backward, sliding down the mountain several steps as it thrashes about.

I duck as its tail lashes out, colliding with another outcropping, which instantly shatters and sends large boulders skittering towards the dragon. Which, of course, gives me an even better idea.

“Grave Stones! Do your thing!”

I send the Grave Stones rolling down the hill alongside a few of the mountain ones. Including the big one I inappropriately groped earlier.

Don’t look at me like that. It saves me a really awkward conversation later.

I’ll give the dragon credit. He fights to keep his footing, but it proves too much for its delicate composure, and down the mountainside it goes, in a rush of rocks and snow.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I scoop Carl from the snow where he had landed. “That was a close one, Carl. Good thinking. I suppose we should tell the wizard we’ve succeeded.”

“You did what?!“

The wizard sounds less than happy at the news of our success. You know, for a dubious, almost-bearded, definitely goateed guy who has questionable judgment at best, he’s sure ungrateful. Even Carl agrees. Not that he’d say so.

The coward.

“I said I took care of your dragon problem,” I repeat.

“By throwing him down a mountain?!”

“Technically, he threw himself down a mountain.”

The wizard pauses and looks me up and down. “Do you have that effect on a lot of people?”

“Not to get away from me!” I snap, though now I have my doubts. I mean, technically, if you really think about it—no, no, not really my fault. I was just following orders.

“I don’t see why you’re angry. Your letter said to take care of the demon tormenting travelers. Mission succeeded! Huzzah! Now where’s my dang medal? Or at least certificate of achievement?”

The wizard furiously shakes his head. “My letter said to retire the beast. As in throw him a retirement party for a job well done after a career of guarding the pass!”

“After a … career of … oh.” I huff. “Well, technically, I threw him something. Surely that counts?”

The way the wizard massages his scrunched brow makes me think it does not, in fact, count.

“Just … go home and wait for your next quest, please. Without injuring any more of the king’s loyal subjects, will you?”

I narrow my eyes. “I make no promises. Besides, you should make your next letter more obvious.”

“I didn’t think I had to spell out NO INJURIES!”

“It’s a dragon and this was a quest. Of course you need to spell it out.” Carl makes his presence known, and I pause before translating. “Yes, and as Carl says, the dragon started it.”

The wizard sighs and opens the door, motioning out. “I’ve got a whole host of apology letters to write and political smoothing over to undertake, if you don’t mind leaving me to it? I’ll let you know when your … services … are required again.”

“Fine. Whatever.” I leave the wizard’s treehouse with a huff, and he’s quick to snap the door closed behind me.

I can’t believe I’m not even getting paid for this.

Quest Completed!

Read your shortest book.

★★★★☆

This … isn’t quite what I expected when I picked up a George R.R. Martin book? To be fair, I totally bought it because of the giant dragon on the cover and the gorgeous illustrations inside. More than worth it!

The story was surprisingly sweet, with an ending that is a weird combination of happy and sad. My feels are so confused. But in a good way, I suppose? I did enjoy the story, but I also felt that it was a tad rushed and not fully developed. There were definitely things that I think would’ve made the story stronger if they had been fleshed out just a bit more.

Overall, though, I’d call the first book of this readathon a success! Start the show with a bang, am I right? Definitely a fun one to start off with.

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