♫ I know that I can’t take no more, it ain’t no lie. I want to see you out that door. Baby, bye bye bye. ♬

As part of my ever-ongoing goal to become even more efficient with the books I read, I’ve followed my tradition of DNF’ing books after 15%. If I’m not into it at all by then, I just … set it down. Honestly, it avoids me a lot of one-star reviews and a whole bunch of wasted time. No book is for everyone, so why waste time reading something I’m not enjoying?!

This year, I became a professional at the art of the DNF, so don’t be surprised if this list is a little bit lengthy.

For the most part, this has nothing to do with the book. It’s me. I did it. Something inside me is broken. I like what I like, what can I say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In both 2018 and 2019, I posted all the books I broke up with, and since I’m very open about my long list of ex (bookish) lovers, I decided to go ahead and continue the tradition.

Just your basic disclaimer here that, by and large, I wouldn’t say these books were bad. They just weren’t for me. The whole point of this post is that maybe you’ll see something that you like, and the whole world will have been better for me setting up my ex books with someone who will love them as much as they deserve to be loved. See? Happy endings all around.

Highfire

DNF’d at:
page 55

What I enjoyed:
Eoin Colfer writes with a dry, almost irreverent humor that I thought was interesting. I absolutely loved the dragon, Vern, as a character, and I definitely wanted more of his story!

Fatal Flaw:
This book is replete with cursing and weird dick/ball humor and body jokes that felt really random and out of place. They didn’t make me laugh, but roll my eyes. Made all the worse by the fact that the three very different characters all had the exact same voice and made the exact same jokes. The plot also felt really random and without a concrete direction, with exposition and flashbacks dropped haphazardly into it, so it was really hard to follow.

Red Hood

DNF’d at:
9%

What I enjoyed:
Elana Arnold has a really interesting, almost meta way of writing, which blends reality with metaphor really nicely. I always love reading her prose.

Fatal Flaw:
Ultimately, this book made me so uncomfortable that I decided to put it down, because it simply wasn’t enjoyable for me to read it anymore. I finally had to call it quits during a one-page, very detailed description of the main character putting a tampon in. I’m cool with periods coming up in books, and I think they should and they need to be normalized, but also, I don’t need this much detail on it in my life. I’m also not a fan of graphic sex between underaged characters in contemporary fiction, especially combined with the fact that the book is written in second person. It made for an exceptionally awkward sex scene experience.

A Declaration of the Rights of Magicians

DNF’d at:
38%

What I enjoyed:
Parry does an amazing job of layering fantasy over the actual facts of the French Revolution, with astounding attention to details. Adding magic to historical events is one of my new favorite genres (is it a genre? It should be), so that caught my attention right away.

Fatal Flaw:
This book is 90% telling and 10% banter (which I did love) with very little real action going on. I did think the premise was super interesting, but it just didn’t hold my attention. There’s a lot of political talk in this, but not even the fun scheming sort that I like. It felt a lot like reading a history book at times, and I never did enjoy history books. What this boils down to is I just thought it was so dry and without enough action to hold my attention.

The Edge of Everywhen

DNF’d at:
35%

What I enjoyed:
The story is told from the point of view of a book, which is pretty neat. I thought the idea itself was interesting, and it’s a clean, Christian-centered book, which I think will attract some readers in and of itself.

Fatal Flaw:
The story jumped and meandered a little too much, which made it hard to follow. Where I stopped, I felt like literally nothing had happened. There just wasn’t enough actual plot. The final nail in the coffin was when Phoenix, a little boy with autism, suddenly started exhibiting behaviors he hadn’t in a long time after finding this book, very heavily implying that the book was “fixing” him. Whether this narrative continues in the rest of the book, I can’t say because that was enough for me to decide not to finish when added to the fact that I was just plain bored with it.

The Beast Player

DNF’d at:
6 hours in

What I enjoyed:
I listened to this on audiobook, and the narrator was fantastic! Definitely added to the experience. There were a lot of words that I don’t think I would’ve known how to pronounce if it hadn’t been audiobook, so it was nice to have that.

Fatal Flaw:
The story is a little all over the place and just became too hard for me to follow on audiobook, at least. When I stopped, it was after something like 20 – 30 minutes spent talking about the care and maintenance of bees! It felt so unnecessary. Then it started jumping between different characters, different settings, and I kept getting lost and having to rewind. I might try the e-book of this later and see if I fare better with that.

The Taken

DNF’d at:
page 124

What I enjoyed:
The book is written from the perspective of a fox, which is cute and charming. I don’t enjoy animal protagonists that much, but for some reason, I’ve been enjoying fox protagonist books! It was interesting seeing the city from the fox’s point of view.

Fatal Flaw:
This felt like 120 pages of describing a human city from the point of view of a fox and that’s about it. There were parts of it I enjoyed, but as the story went on, it got a little tedious to try to parse what the author was describing from the point of view of the fox. It also felt like a lot of things were talked about but nothing actually ever really happened. The book relies heavily on foreshadowing and hinting, while waiting too long to actually deliver the dang thing. 

The President Is Missing

DNF’d at:
1 hour in

What I enjoyed:
The idea seems interesting? This was another audiobook, and the narrator was entertaining and enjoyable. Probably wouldn’t have listened nearly as long without that.

Fatal Flaw:
This isn’t a genre I normally read, and there just wasn’t enough of a hook for me. The first hour leads the listener to believe one thing is happening, and at the end of the hour, there’s a “gotcha” that negates the entire first hour and shows it was something else, and I absolutely hate that. Felt like I’d wasted an entire hour listening to nothing of consequence.

Crossing in Time

DNF’d at:
40%

What I enjoyed:
The witty romantic banter! The romance felt a bit rushed, but it was such a realistic portrayal that I couldn’t help cracking up at the way they interacted, since I’m guilty of similar things! Also, the sarcastic scientist, which should come as no surprise, because both of those things are kinda sexy so obviously they are when combined.

Fatal Flaw:
This was, on all accounts, an “it’s me” thing. I didn’t realize this book had a major trigger for me (miscarriage), and it wasn’t something done in passing but really delved into by the main character. I can occasionally handle these books now sometimes, but in this case, it was just too much for me personally emotionally. If miscarriage is a trigger for you, I wouldn’t recommend this book, but if not, you might enjoy it!

Category Five

DNF’d at:
25%

What I enjoyed:
The book starts out with a bang, and I was immediately hooked! The first chapter was just *chef’s kiss*

Fatal Flaw:
The main character, Lupe, is just awful. She’s supposed to be a sympathetic protagonist, I think, but I just hoped she would be next to be offed. She was super out of touch with reality and elitist, and how her and Javier ended up in a relationship, I have no idea. It’s hard to read a book when you loathe the protagonist, so I set this aside.

The Phantom’s Curse

DNF’d at:
15%

What I enjoyed:
Uhhh … there was some fun banter?

Fatal Flaw:
Nothing happened. There was a lot of exposition and talk about other things breaking up the action in the present, which just wasn’t enough to hold my attention, since it was basically the protagonist preparing for her debutante dinner. What it boiled down to was I felt completely lost in this world, no idea what was going on for a lot of things, and the things I did understand, I just didn’t care about.

The Black Sky

DNF’d at:
page 100

What I enjoyed:
Really high stakes, lots going on! There’s a very actiony, heist feel to the story that was fun. Also, I’m a sucker for books set in New York.

Fatal Flaw:
The book feels slowed down by the technological aspects, which is a good thing if you’re into that. I’m just not. My eyes glass over and a part of me dies. I want to give this one a go at another time, but for now, my brain can’t do books heavy on militaristic/technological themes like this.

Transfer From Alcatraz

DNF’d at:
15%

What I enjoyed:
The mystery about the murder and what really happened at Alcatraz caught my attention immediately, and I wanted to know more about the case!

Fatal Flaw:
By 15% in, it had been about 1% case and 14% introducing me to random characters I didn’t care about. I think this is better suited to readers who enjoy old timey PI shows/books, which isn’t the sort of thing I’ve ever really been into. It’s got more of a modern bent with different diverse representations, but ultimately, I wasn’t into the PI angle and wasn’t feeling the characters.

What are some books you DNF’d in 2020? Do we have any in common?

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