We’ve all read those books. You know, the ones you’d like to throw in the ocean because it’s the only thing saltier than you about it.
The sad truth is you can’t like every book. I’ve done all the research. I’ve polled a bunch of people. It’s true. This is just a Sad Fact. (Even though this is obviously not going to keep me from trying, because … duh. What if it’s possible and no one’s cracked the code yet? I’m not risking it.)
Today’s Top Ten Tuesday is books I’d gladly throw in the ocean, which I took to means books I’m salty about.
What I’ve come to realize about myself, though, is that I tend not to get salty about books that I don’t like. Oh, no, that would make too much sense. Instead, I get salty about books that I actually enjoyed, but which annoyed me for some reason. All the wrong reasons, to be perfectly honest. My saltiness has no boundaries and, sometimes, no logical foundation. So strap in! This is going to be a salty ride.
Nevernight
Why I’m salty:
Spoiler free version: How dare the characters that I thought were meant to be together didn’t end up together! What was the author thinking? Whyyyy?! *flails*
Spoilerish version: Tric was done dirty, and I DO NOT APPROVE, SIR. GOOD DAY.
The Silvered Serpents
Why I’m salty:
Spoiler free version: My OTP isn’t actually a thing. Why, I cannot fathom, because obviously they are meant to be a thing. Clearly, the authors didn’t get the memo. You know, come to think of it, I’m starting to see a pattern here already …
Spoilerish version: Séverin and Hypnos are clearly soulmates. It’s not just my imagination, okay! There’s giant flashing neon signs here. So why isn’t this a thing?! We just … need to make them see the light. *smooshes the boys together and demands that they confess their feelings*
Drowned Country
Why I’m salty:
This is only a duology. Why? No, really. Someone explain this to me. This world has so much freaking potential, and all the characters are fabulous. I was NOT DONE with this place, and I resent the fact that the author assumed I was. I would like some more hopeless (but adorable) boys, ruthlessly honest mothers, and magical (but deadly) romps through various terrain, please.
All the Stars and Teeth
Why I’m salty:
Bastian isn’t the main character. Think about it. How much more thrilling would this story be from the winsome and charming pirate’s point of view? I confess that I did not like Amora at all, so that probably has something to do with my perspective. The story itself was okay, but I think it could’ve been so much more thrilling had the lead been … well, almost any other character, honestly. Or maybe multiple points of view? I would love to be in any side character’s head except Amora, honestly.
The Toll
Why I’m salty:
Spoiler free version: The ending. This was one of my favorite series. I immediately fell in love with Scythe and was utterly destroyed in the best possible ways by Thunderhead. This ending, though, was not a satisfactory one for the series, and it pains me to say it. I still enjoy the series and would probably even re-read it at some point. Still salty about that ending, though.
Spoilerish version: You spend how many years and put in how much effort to save a world and then you just nope out of there when you succeed? How does any of this make sense? And just … why? Who thought this ending was a good idea?
Kingsbane
Why I’m salty:
Too much sex in my stabby dark fantasy book. It was about 70% romance and 30% fantasy, and those percentages are skewed and should be swapped, thank you very much. Also, the badass assassin spends way too much time crying. I was (very generously) willing to let one or two of them slide, but she cried so many times that at this point she’s probably saltier over it than I am.
Warbreaker
Why I’m salty:
WHERE IS THIS SEQUEL?! *digs through all the books to try to find it* I was promised Nightblood. Nightblood, the sarcastic talking sword (and you guys all know how much I love those) shows up at least 289% less than it should in Warbreaker, but I was willing to generously overlook that because there was a sequel bearing its name. Of course, that sequel has been kicked so far down the road that it might as well be considered a time traveler now, and I’m having minor withdrawals. MOAR NIGHTBLOOD.
The Ruthless Lady’s Guide to Wizardry
Why I’m salty:
Well, gosh, given everything that happens in this book, how will Buttons be squeezed into the sequel? Wait … WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO SEQUEL? Who said I was done with this world? Or these ladies? *flips a table* *sobs in the corner* What will I do without more of their antics? And without more Buttons?
Across the Green Grass Fields
Why I’m salty:
Seanan McGuire is a fan-freaking-tastic author. I can attest to that. I’ve read her other works. Even in this one, you can tell that her writing game is on point. Soooo … where the heck did she go wrong with this?! There were all of 30 pages of action and exploring the world and excitement, and then the other 100-ish pages were … nothing. Where was the plot? The adventure? I kept expecting something to happen and then it just … didn’t. Over and over again. Or there would be brief glimmers of action for a couple pages and back to quotidian monotony.
Seeing as how this was a horse world which I absolutely freaking loved for the 30 pages the main character gets to explore it, I feel a bit cheated. This was one of my worlds! You know, other than the dark, deadly, stabby Frankenstein one, obviously. This should have been a pretty close second to the Moors and it wasn’t, and that makes me sad.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Why I’m salty:
After learning more about the relationship between Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald, I was always mad about the missed opportunity here. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I’m a solid Grindeldore shipper, and can you blame me? Two ridiculously powerful young men. Visionaries. Drawn together by passion and foolishness. A star-crossed romance that blazed hot enough to burn them both? Can you not just taste the delicious tension and drama? Ugh.
Also, I’m extremely salty about the chance that Rowling had to make a complicated, nuanced villain in Grindelwald who had brilliant ideas and was a visionary who ultimately failed … and yet she did not. This goes more with the movie, I suppose, but he’s basically just Hitler 2.0, and that’s unforgivable to me. Is nuanced villains so much to ask for?!
Love this post, and I have to agree with you about Across the Green Grass Fields😁 Fingers crossed she’s back to form in the next book!
Tammy @ Books, Bones & Buffy recently posted…TITAN SONG by Dan Stout – Review
I really hope so. I’m crossing my fingers for maybe a Christopher or Kade themed book next, maybe? We can hope!
Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald totally should have ended up together.
My post: https://lydiaschoch.com/top-ten-tuesday-books-id-gladly-throw-into-the-ocean/
Lydia recently posted…Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: TV Shows I Binge Watch(ed)
Yes! Or even if they couldn’t end up together (because ill-fated love is also fun), their romance should’ve been more of a thing, darn it!
Omg, I’m with you on The Toll. Scythe was perfect and then Thunderhead happened but still ok. The Toll was ok until that ending. 🤦♀
Lili Marcus recently posted…TBR TACKLE CHALLENGE 2021
Thunderhead was actually my favorite book of the series. xD I actually squeed out loud at the ending, because I thought it came together so perfectly. But yeah. The series ending was a bit disappointing.
I had to look up “salty.” That’s a brand-new word for me. I like your take on this prompt!
I’m pretty sure I had to look it up the first time I heard it used that way, too. xD But I do like the sound of it. It’s fun to say.
Fun twist on the topic this week! (I took it literally, and my brain balked at the idea of purposely throwing books into the sea.) I notice that a lot of the books you’re salty about are because you want—and don’t have—a sequel. 😉
Nicole @ BookWyrm Knits recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday ~ Still More Favorite Book Quotes
I dunno, there are plenty of books I think I’d literally want to throw in the sea. Just saying. Not sure I’d want to call them out on my blog, but I’m sure you can think of a few that I’ve mentioned, at least. xD
That’s true. I don’t do well with standalones, because I always end up wanting more lol. What can I say? When I find a world I like, I want to stay there awhile.
Tric was 100% done dirty!
Lauren @ Always Me recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Books I’d Gladly Throw Into the Ocean
I’m pretty sure I will never be over this.
“Too much sex in my stabby dark fantasy” is a mood for so many books TBH…
Yes! Why do they do this?! I don’t want sexy times. Not unless it’s a ploy to lead up to unsuspecting stabby times. That’s it. That’s the only option. xD
Hypnos definitely has feelings for Severin, that was pretty obvious in The Silvered Serpents. Honestly Laila and Severin are way too angsty for me so I would be very happy if Severin and Hypnos ended up together, they certainly seem to have a unique understanding of each other.
Jo recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday #310
I thought it was pretty obvious, too, and I feel the same about Laila x Severin. I was with them for the first book, but then it just fell apart in this one and it’s too much angst and drama. I find it impossible to root for them.
I enjoyed your take on this! I like standalones but I would definitely read a sequel to The Ruthless Lady’s Guide to Wizardry. And same for me with Across the Green Grass Fields…for such a short book, there was so much NOTHING.
Sara @ Stories and Sidequests recently posted…Bookish Rants || Ten Books I’d Gladly Drown In the Ocean
I rarely read standalones, probably for this very reason. xD I like to spend some time in worlds I enjoy.
I’m so glad I’m not alone in that opinion. I mean, I’m not glad that other people didn’t enjoy it, but … you know what I mean. xD Sometimes you can feel like the odd man out haha.
[…] Sammie at The Bookwyrm’s Den […]
Loved your spin of the topic. Tric… OMG, I was so mad about it!!!
Andie @ Books, Coffee & Passion recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Top Three Books I’D Gladly Throw Into The Ocean
Saaaame. Ugh. I will forever be mad about it.
Love your list and your take on the topic! I did love Across the Green Grass Fields, but at the same time, I could happily have spent a LOT more time exploring that world.
My TTT
It’s definitely the sort of world that I think I would’ve loved exploring more!
I love your spin on this prompt haha, it definitely made me laugh!
Glad I could make you laugh!
thanks! That was fun reading. Re talking swords–if you need more (and who doesn’t?), I recommend Swordheart, by T. Kingfisher (adult), and Have Sword Will Travel (mg) by Garth Nix and Sean Williams.
I *obviously* need more talking swords. Also, I was just talking to someone about loving a T. Kingfisher book and needing to read more of their work, so this is obviously meant to be. I went ahead and put a hold on that. xD I’m gonna check out the other one, too! Thanks so much for the recommendations. I appreciate it.
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