The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True (Heloise the Bard #1)
by Sean GibsonPublished by: The Parliament House on December 15, 2020
Genres: Adult, Fantasy, Humor
Pages: 308
Format: Paperback
Source: Author
Rating:
Sure, you think you know the story of the fearsome red dragon, Dragonia. How it terrorized the village of Skendrick until a brave band of heroes answered the noble villagers' call for aid. How nothing could stop those courageous souls from facing down the dragon. How they emerged victorious and laden with treasure.
But, even in a world filled with epic adventures and tales of derring-do, where dragons, goblins, and unlicensed prestidigitators run amok, legendary heroes don't always know what they're doing. Sometimes they're clueless. Sometimes beleaguered townsfolk are more hapless than helpless. And orcs? They're not always assholes, and sometimes they don't actually want to eat your children.
Heloise the Bard, Erithea's most renowned storyteller (at least, to hear her tell it), is here to set the record straight. See, it turns out adventuring isn't easy, and true heroism is as rare as an articulate villager.
Having spent decades propagating this particular myth (which, incidentally, she wrote), she's finally able to tell the real story—for which she just so happened to have a front-row seat.Welcome to Erithea. I hope you brought a change of undergarments—things are going to get messy.
Content Tags:
Perfect for readers who want:
- A sarcastic narrator who is both reliable and unreliable at the same time.
- (Yes, I know that’s a contradiction, but so is she, I promise.)
- Dragons! Well . . . mostly.
- A D&D roleplaying-esque story gone awry.
- Lots and lots of humor!
- All sorts of unexpected challenges and outcomes.
- (Because adventuring is messy and unpredictable.)
- Books that feel like the Vox Machina series or Critical Role.
This review has been a loooong time coming. I’m pretty sure I received this book from a giveaway last year? Oops. In my defense, things have happened since then. In any case, I’ve been excited to pick this one up since I received it, beacuse it sounds like the perfect book for me, right? Pratchett-esque humor, which is my favorite brand. Roleplaying squady elements. Oh, and a dragon. Plus, with a title like that, how could you not want to pick this up?
The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True takes everything that is good and bad about roleplaying games like D&D, wraps it in a Pratchett-esque humorous narrative, and sprinkles in some adventure gone awry.
Have you ever watched Critical Role? You know, the streamed D&D session by some of my favorite voice actors upon which the new Vox Machina series is based? I bring that up for two reasons. One, if you haven’t watched it yet . . . but are you even doing with your life? Talk about questionable life choices. But second, The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True gave me some pretty hardcore Critical Role vibes in all the best ways. Except it had, like, 1,000% less sex in it. Do with that what you will. So if you’re a fan of that show, this book is likely for you!
The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True is narrated by Heloise the Bard (as one might expect from a roleplaying-based story), who happens to be very good at what she does. Maybe a little too good.
If we’re being honest, this whole story is really her fault, even though she’d likely fight you on that. To be fair, she’d likely fight you for anything. Even just out of spite. So that’s maybe not much of a feat.
Aside from being a bard, Heloise is a fantastically sarcastic narrator. The particular flavor of humor in this book is tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, which Gibson does incredibly well. His world-building is built snarkily into the narrative, as the reader travels across the world along with the (mostly) brave adventurers . . . and Heloise.
What I thought was very unique and well done is the way Heloise does her bard thing and spins the story to be the adventure one might expect to hear in a tavern being told, all suspenseful and poetic like. But then, interspersed between those, are the actual story, which is significantly less glamorous. As it turns out, adventuring isn’t everything the bards would you have believe it is. And that’s why bards get such a bad rap.
Get ready for the adventure of a lifetime . . . and then read this instead. Which isn’t that, but mostly because this squad and also Erithea itself and what even is an adventure anyway? This is the sort of adventure that would happen if you, dear Bookwyrm, and I decided to slay a dragon.
Which, by the by, would obviously never happen. Not only because dragons are sacred beasts that I would create an army of way before I destroy them, but also . . . I’m not allowed to play with pointy objects. And I’m shite at magic. Which means I’d have to be the bard, and I’m both extremely offended by that but also would make one hell of a bard, okay?
What I’m saying is that, yes, this is an adventure across Erithea. But I don’t think you can exactly call this squad competent. I also don’t think you can suggest that any bit of this went according to any sort of plan. (Not that any one of this group would have actually planned anything.) In many ways, that was the charm of this story. It felt like a D&D session where the DM just went, “Well, to heck with it. We are officially going to wing everything. Time to throw the rulebook out the door.” Which, to be honest, sounds like my kind of DM.
My point is that if you expect a clean-cut, upfront adventure like other adventure books, this may not be the story for you. These are not the well-trained, capable adventurers from your modern adventure story. Nay, they’re people sort of like you and me (except, okay, maybe stabbier and with actual magic and maybe a slight bit of skill) blundering around on a well-intentioned (but ill-advised) quest. So, in other words, every bit the fun that sounds.
“I’m sure someone will,” replied Nadi, “but they’re unlikely to be the civic-minded type who would notify the authorities. They’re more likely to be the stabbing type who steals purses.”
“I’d like them to try to steal something off of me,” cackled Whiska. She pointed to the still-smoking cockroach corpse and crooked her finger.
“I’d prefer we didn’t leave a trail of death behind us,” replied Nadi, shaking her head. “We need to do this stealthily. We’re not being paid by the body.”
“We’re not not being paid by the body though, right?” asked Whiska.
This squad is . . . something else. No, seriously. It’s something else. I’m not quite sure what, and I’ve spent 300 pages with them. Whatever they are, I absolutely love them.
Think they’d let me join their squad?! Maybe as an honorable member that doesn’t regularly risk their life? I could be, like, waiting for their return at taverns and provide emotional support. From a safe distance, of course.
Whiska is obviously my favorite character. She’s the (slightly too powerful) mage who’s all too happy cursing others or smiting them. Come to think of it, who wouldn’t be happy with that? She wouldn’t exactly be your first choice when forming an adventuring squad (though, then again, who in this group would be?). However, her proclivity for powerful spells and pointy objects is exactly what makes her a valuable asset to the team. As much as a mouthy rat-person can be, of course.
Then there’s Nadi, who is basically the only thing holding the team together. Basically, she’s the duct tape and prayer of the bunch, somehow managing to keep them (mostly) in one piece and going forward. Probably the only rational member of the group, but hey, there has to be at least one of those, right?
Rummy is quick with his hands and wit. He’s not exactly bringing much to the table in a fight (or, you know, anything at all, really), but he could steal a room blind without anyone being the wiser. Which I only now realize is probably a weird thing to brag about, but I’m rather fond of this character, so you leave him and his proclivity for sleight of hand alone.
Then there’s obviously the one who’s really carrying the team, Borg, who is a giant rock person. He may be a little slow when it comes to keeping up with . . . well . . . anything. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have plenty to contribute! Despite his rough exterior (*snort* get it?!), he’s actually a big ol’ teddy bear at heart. Which makes it all the more a shame that he happens to fall in with this lot.
All together, they’re not the squad we wanted . . . or probably even the squad we deserve . . . but it’s the squad that we need!
As you can probably guess, I hate both riddles and sexy underthings.
The humor in this book isn’t going to be for everyone (obviously). But if you enjoy semi-aware, tongue-in-cheek sarcasm that pokes fun at tropes and expectations, this will likely be a book for you.
I feel like comedic fantasy in and of itself is a bit of an acquired taste. You either love it or you don’t. Obviously, I can’t get enough of the stuff or we wouldn’t be here right now. However, I am aware that this isn’t always the case for everyone. Those people are obviously wrong, but alas, that is their right!
There’s a very irreverent, almost Pratchett-meets-Monty-Python type of humor to the story. The protagonists are all older, which I love to see in my adventure books, because older people deserve adventures too. Even if we complain more about them (and reasonably so). As I said, it won’t be for everyone, but if this is your sort of humor, definitely give it a try!
“Coitus?” asked Whiska.
“Not a quality,” I replied.
“Maybe not the way you do it,” she said.
“I’m not sure you want to challenge me on that one.”
What a fun book! You always seem to find some fun and amazing books to blog about. Another stellar review!
Wendy recently posted…Book Review: Some of It Was Real by Nan Fischer
Thanks! I’d like to claim it’s skill, but it’s mostly just pure dumb luck, I suppose. I stumble across the most interesting things, and of course I can’t resist them. xD
This does seem like such a fun read Sammie! I used to love Pratchett, so I guess me and Elza might enjoy this one.
Lovely and thorough review!
Have a good week ahead.
Elza Reads
Thank you. 🙂 If you like Pratchett, I’d definitely say give it a try!
Haaaaaa, these quotes had me laughing all the way through this review! This one is definitely going on my TBR!!
It’s definitely a good one if you’re looking for something to make you laugh. Hope you enjoy it!