Books With Snarky Characters You’d Be A Fool Not To Read

Happy April Fools’ Day, y’all! Don’t worry, I won’t be pulling any pranks on you! Well . . . I can’t promise I won’t slip a book or two into your TBR when you’re not looking. But to be fair, I would also do that any other day of the year, too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I haven’t had a ton of time to read lately, so I’m definitely falling behind. Two things remain true, though: I am in a romantasy phase, and I live for sarcastic characters. I just absolutely cannot get enough of snark and banter. I eat it right up! If any of you are already familiar with my reading habits, I’m sure this week’s theme will come as no surprise.

In honor of April Fools’, this week’s Top Ten Tuesday are books with snarky characters you’d be a fool not to read. Because who doesn’t need a little more snark in their life?

Okay, sure, the world around us may be on fire, but that’s all the more reason to grab your marshmallows, get your weenies, and grab your favorite snarkfest of a book and chill by the light of the bonfire. Because sarcastic characters make everything better . . . well, most things . . . they’re just great characters, all right? So if you’re looking for more of that, one of the books on this list might just be for you!

Dreadful

A sharp-witted, high fantasy farce featuring killer moat squid, toxic masculinity, evil wizards and a garlic festival – all at once. Perfect for fans of T. Kingfisher, K. J. Parker and Travis Baldree.

It’s bad enough waking up in a half-destroyed evil wizard’s workshop with no eyebrows, no memories, and no idea how long you have before the Dread Lord Whomever shows up to murder you horribly and then turn your skull into a goblet or something.

It’s a lot worse when you realize that Dread Lord Whomever is… you.

Gav isn’t really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed.

But as he realizes that nothing – from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess – is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he’ll have to answer the hardest question of all – who does he want to be?

Dread Lord Gavrax has had better weeks.

It’s impossible not to fall in love with Dread Lord Gavrax. Gav, if you will. Okay, sure, he’s done some terrible things, but those are all in the past. Along with . . . y’know . . . his past. Mostly because he has amnesia. After all, it’s been at least . . . what . . . several days before he had fireballed anyone. Cut him some slack!

This book was the most ridiculous thing in the best possible way. Poor Gav is dropped headlong into Dread Lord Gavrax’s mess, whatever that is, and is forced to blunder his way through and hopefully survive. The snark in this book is top notch — not just from Gav himself but all the supporting characters, too. After all, if you’ve lived for so long under the shadow of a dark lord who could slay you on any whim, you might as well say what how you feel.

Dungeon Crawler Carl

The apocalypse will be televised! Welcome to the first book in the wildly popular and addictive Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinniman—now with bonus material exclusive to this print edition.

You know what’s worse than breaking up with your girlfriend? Being stuck with her prize-winning show cat. And you know what’s worse than that? An alien invasion, the destruction of all man-made structures on Earth, and the systematic exploitation of all the survivors for a sadistic intergalactic game show. That’s what.

Join Coast Guard vet Carl and his ex-girlfriend’s cat, Princess Donut, as they try to survive the end of the world—or just get to the next level—in a video game–like, trap-filled fantasy dungeon. A dungeon that’s actually the set of a reality television show with countless viewers across the galaxy. Exploding goblins. Magical potions. Deadly, drug-dealing llamas. This ain’t your ordinary game show.

Welcome, Crawler. Welcome to the Dungeon. Survival is optional. Keeping the viewers entertained is not.

If you are a gamer nerd who also happens to enjoy reading, congratulations! This book is for you. Carl finds himself at the end of the world. Does it end in fire? Ice? No! Earth ends in a game show. Specifically, a dungeon crawler. The goal is to survive as long as possible, but the odds are against you. Thankfully, Carl has his senses about him, a cynicism just strong enough to keep him alive, and the companionship of his ex-girlfriend’s spoiled show cat, Princess Donut. Who, yes, is every bit of the asshole that I think we can all agree cats generally are. And. I. LOVE. It.

The gamers among us will recognize a lot of the elements of this book, complete with achievements and rewards. Except the achievements likely aren’t what you’re expecting, which means you get to experience the surprise along with Carl! The only thing you can rest assured on is that they will be delightfully snarky. Just like pretty much every character you’ll meet along the way. Hard not to be snarky. It is the end of the world, after all!

Long Live Evil

When her whole life collapsed, Rae still had books. Dying, she seizes a second chance at living: a magical bargain that lets her enter the world of her favourite fantasy series.

She wakes in a castle on the edge of a hellish chasm, in a kingdom on the brink of war. Home to dangerous monsters, scheming courtiers and her favourite fictional character: the Once and Forever Emperor. He’s impossibly alluring, as only fiction can be. And in this fantasy world, she discovers she’s not the heroine, but the villainess in the Emperor’s tale.

So be it. The wicked are better dressed, with better one-liners, even if they’re doomed to bad ends. She assembles the wildly disparate villains of the story under her evil leadership, plotting to change their fate. But as the body count rises and the Emperor’s fury increases, it seems Rae and her allies may not survive to see the final page.

Are you in your villain era? Because I am. Thankfully, this book is an ode to villains. Rae finds herself in what she believed was a fictional world, given a second chance at life. The catch? She’s in the body of a villainess who is on the eve of being brutally and gruesomely murdered. What’s a girl to do? Well, Rae leans into it and fully embraces her role as a villainess.

There are so many snarky characters in this book, which I feel should come as no surprise because . . . y’know, villains! As it turns out, when you remove the pressure to be a hero, what you’re left with is a cast of utterly delightful characters who still choose to do the right thing from time to time but who are also pleasantly uninhibited by trying to be “virtuous”. In other words, they’re fun.

Assistant to the Villain

ASSISTANT WANTED: Notorious, high-ranking villain seeks loyal, levelheaded assistant for unspecified office duties, supporting staff for random mayhem and terror, and other Dark Things In General. Discretion a must. Excellent benefits.

With ailing family to support, Evie Sage’s employment status isn’t just important, it’s vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn’s most infamous Villain results in a job offer―naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teeny crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don’t find evil so attractive, Evie.

But just when she’s getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat…and not just the literal kind. Because something rotten is growing in the kingdom of Rennedawn, and someone wants to take the Villain―and his entire nefarious empire―out.

Now Evie must not only resist drooling over her boss but also figure out exactly who is sabotaging his work…and ensure he makes them pay.

After all, a good job is hard to find.

I was going to put the second book here, but figured I should start with the first, in case you haven’t started the series. In case you couldn’t tell from the blurb, this book is 90% snark and 10% villains being delightful. Pretty much everyone in this book is snarky. They all come together for an adorable little snark-filled found family. I honestly laughed my way through this book and its sequel, and I’m looking forward to re-reading both when the third book comes out! Honestly, one of my new favorite series!

Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone

Everyone in my family has killed someone. Some of us, the high achievers, have killed more than once. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but it is the truth. Some of us are good, others are bad, and some just unfortunate.

I’m Ernest Cunningham. Call me Ern or Ernie. I wish I’d killed whoever decided our family reunion should be at a ski resort, but it’s a little more complicated than that.

Have I killed someone? Yes. I have.

Who was it?

Let’s get started.

This book has a darker tone than a lot of the others on the list. The snark here is born of sarcasm and cynicism, both of which are understandable for this family. I love the unexpectedness of this story and the way it unfolds. The rest of this series is focused more on the snark and the laughs, but this one is heavier, and I appreciated it for it. The snark is well placed, while still allowing for some deeper narratives.

The title is true, by the way. But it’s not what you expect. I promise.

The Adventure Zone

Join Taako the elf wizard, Merle the dwarf cleric, and Magnus the human warrior for an adventure they are poorly equipped to handle AT BEST, guided (“guided”) by their snarky DM, in a graphic novel that, like the smash-hit podcast it’s based on, will tickle your funny bone, tug your heartstrings, and probably pants you if you give it half a chance.

With endearingly off-kilter storytelling from master goofballs Clint McElroy and the McElroy brothers, and vivid, adorable art by Carey Pietsch, The Adventure Zone: Here There be Gerblins is the comics equivalent of role-playing in your friend’s basement at 2am, eating Cheetos and laughing your ass off as she rolls critical failure after critical failure.

If you’re interested in D&D but don’t generally have time to play, have I got the graphic novel series for you! The Adventure Zone is a delightful romp based on a podcast adventure. Meet Taako, Merle, and Magnus. They’re not the heroes we wanted . . . certainly not the heroes we need . . . but maybe the heroes we deserve? By which I mean, they somehow manage to spectacularly fail up every single time. Not without collateral damage, but eh, heroism is messy sometimes.

As is common with D&D, things get a little wonky. Expect the unexpected! It’s really neat the way the book reads and feels like a D&D campaign, with bits of gameplay added cleanly into the narrative, but also tells a satisfactory story. Even the game master has a role in this story!

The Nightmare Before Kissmas

Nicholas “Coal” Claus used to love Christmas. Until his father, the reigning Santa, turned the holiday into a PR façade. Coal will do anything to escape the spectacle, including getting tangled in a drunken, supremely hot make- out session with a beautiful man behind a seedy bar one night.

But the heir to Christmas is soon commanded to do his duty: he will marry his best friend, Iris, the Easter Princess and his brother’s not-so-secret crush. A situation that has disaster written all over it.

Things go from bad to worse when a rival arrives to challenge Coal for the princess’s hand…and Coal comes face-to-face with his mysterious behind-the-bar hottie: Hex, the Prince of Halloween.

Technically, this is a romantasy, but you know me when it comes to spice on the page. Meh. I skipped it. But the rest of the story is absolutely delightful, and I can’t wait to get my hands on the sequel! These young adults are every bit as snarky as you might expect from someone their age. The fact that the banter supports a rather cute romance is really just icing on the cake!

How to Survive History

History is the most dangerous place on Earth. From dinosaurs the size of locomotives to meteors big enough to sterilize the planet, from famines to pandemics, from tornadoes to the Chicxulub asteroid, the odds of human survival are slim but not zero—at least, not if you know where to go and what to do.

In each chapter of How to Survive History, Cody Cassidy explores how to survive one of history’s greatest threats: getting eaten by dinosaurs, being destroyed by the asteroid that wiped them out, succumbing to the lava flows of Pompeii, being devoured by the Donner Party, drowning during the sinking of the Titanic, falling prey to the Black Death, and more. Using hindsight and modern science to estimate everything from how fast you’d need to run to outpace a T. rex to the advantages of different body types in surviving the Donner Party tragedy, Cassidy gives you a detailed battle plan for survival while helping you learn about the era.

Surprise! I snuck a nonfiction book on here. Bet you didn’t even know that nonfiction could be snarky, did you? But I promise you, the narrator of this is definitely one with the snark! The premise of this book is how to, theoretically, survive some of the biggest moments of history. To be fair, some of the answer is “lol jk you won’t survive,” and that’s fair. Even though the author does their best to give you your best chance in that scenario. In any case, this was a really fun book with some ridiculous scenarios and lots of great scientific discussions and explanations.

Sorcery and Small Magics

Leovander Loveage is a master of small magics.

He can summon butterflies with a song, or turn someone’s hair pink by snapping his fingers. Such minor charms don’t earn him much admiration from other sorcerers (or his father), but anything more elaborate always blows up in his face. Which is why Leo vowed years ago to never again write powerful magic.

That is, until a mix-up involving a forbidden spell binds Leo to obey the commands of his longtime nemesis, Sebastian Grimm. Grimm is Leo’s complete opposite—respected, exceptionally talented, and an absolutely insufferable curmudgeon. The only thing they agree on is that getting caught using forbidden magic would mean the end of their careers. They need a counterspell, and fast. But Grimm casts spells, he doesn’t undo them, and Leo doesn’t mess with powerful magic.

Chasing rumors of a powerful sorcerer with a knack for undoing curses, Leo and Grimm enter the Unquiet Wood, a forest infested with murderous monsters and dangerous outlaws alike. To dissolve the curse, they’ll have to uncover the true depths of Leo’s magic, set aside their long-standing rivalry, and—much to their horror—work together.

This is another romantasy! Enemies to lovers is representing on this list and, probably unsurprisingly, makes for a lot of great banter! Leo and Grimm are every bit as snarky as one might expect of young adults. More so Leo, but that’s just because he’s had more practice at it. Not only does this do a good job on the sarcasm and banter, but there’s also a lot of action happening, and an adorable little romance. So really, it’s got a lot going for it!

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen

Abandoned by his father as a small child, Sir Gareth Inglis has grown up prickly, cold, and well-used to disappointment. Even so, he longs for a connection, falling headfirst into a passionate anonymous affair that’s over almost as quickly as it began. Bitter at the sudden rejection, Gareth has little time to lick his wounds: his father has died, leaving him the family title, a rambling manor on the remote Romney Marsh…and the den of cutthroats and thieves that make its intricate waterways their home.

Joss Doomsday has run the Doomsday smuggling clan since he was a boy. His family is his life…which is why when the all-too-familiar new baronet testifies against Joss’s sister for a hanging offense, Joss acts fast, blackmailing Gareth with the secret of their relationship to force him to recant. Their reunion is anything but happy and the path forward everything but smooth, yet after the dust settles, neither can stay away. It’s a long road from there—full of danger and mysteries to be solved—yet somehow, along the way, this well-mannered gentleman may at last find true love with the least likely of scoundrels.

This one is a historical romance, so not a romantasy. Gotcha! Although, it is predictably an enemies to lovers. I admit, I picked this one up sort of on a whim, since it’s not what I’d normally read. I did enjoy the sequel even more than the first one, but this was also delightful. I honestly can’t even voice what it is that I enjoyed about this book (other than the obvious banter). It was definitely different from what I normally go for, so maybe it was partly that uniqueness!

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