To All the Books I DNF’d (2021 Edition)

I think we should see other people. You know, the sort who will appreciate each of us for the gem we absolutely are. Because what we’ve got isn’t healthy, and we both deserve to be happy.

But mostly me. I deserve to be happy. With grad school, work, and family, I had so little time for reading this year that if it didn’t make me happy, I booted it out the door remorselessly. I am a cold-hearted bookwyrm, okay? I give books a fair shot. They have about 15% to impress me or give me some sort of reason to keep going before I tell them to pack their bags. And trust me, some of these books have a lot of baggage. (Then again, don’t we all?)

For the fourth year in a row, since I didn’t want to break the tradition I arbitrarily created, I decided to air my dirty bookish laundry for the world and list all the books I broke up with this year. If you’re curious about previous years, they’re here: 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Because the thing about books is that these ones weren’t a match for me. But there are a million fish and the sea and probably at least a billion bookwyrms out there, so the odds of finding the right fit are pretty good, at least, right? So even though these books weren’t for me, it’s my hope that someone reading this blog might see one they can fall in love with. I’d love to be your bookish meet cute for your new favorite book, okay? Just let me have this fantasy!

Before we get started, I’m going to throw out a generic disclaimer that I don’t think these books are bad, necessarily. Heck, some of them just weren’t what I wanted to read at a given time and I haven’t made my way back around to finishing them. For various reasons, though, they just didn’t work for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe they’ll work for you. Go ahead, give them a try. Worst case scenario, you break up with them, too, and heck, they’ve been through that before. No worries!

Midnight Riot

Probationary Constable Peter Grant dreams of being a detective in London’s Metropolitan Police. Too bad his superior plans to assign him to the Case Progression Unit, where the biggest threat he’ll face is a paper cut. But Peter’s prospects change in the aftermath of a puzzling murder, when he gains exclusive information from an eyewitness who happens to be a ghost. Peter’s ability to speak with the lingering dead brings him to the attention of Detective Chief Inspector Thomas Nightingale, who investigates crimes involving magic and other manifestations of the uncanny. Now, as a wave of brutal and bizarre murders engulfs the city, Peter is plunged into a world where gods and goddesses mingle with mortals and a long-dead evil is making a comeback on a rising tide of magic.

DNF’d at:

30%

What I liked:

A little comedic murder mystery meets magic is good for the soul! This book was quippy and funny and a little out there, which made it all the more fun. I consider this “candy” reading, meaning it’s a great read when you just want to be entertained and have a bit of fun. Goodness knows a lot of us needed that in 2021, and I was no exception.

Fatal Flaw:

Library wanted their book back. Silly libraries are like that. This is one where I actually just . . . forgot I’d started reading it? Until this post, actually. Oops? That’s the trouble with candy reads: there’s not always a ton of substance there. Still, I would like to pick up this series again at some point, when I have the time to sit down and just read it straight through and enjoy it.

The Swimmers

A claustrophobic, literary dystopia set in the hot, luscious landscape of Andalusia from the author of The Golden Key.

After the ravages of global warming, this is place of deep jungles, strange animals, and new taxonomies. Social inequality has ravaged society, now divided into surface dwellers and people who live in the Upper Settlement, a ring perched at the edge of the planet’s atmosphere. Within the surface dwellers, further divisions occur: the techies are old families, connected to the engineer tradition, builders of the Barrier, a huge wall that keeps the plastic-polluted Ocean away. They possess a much higher status than the beanies, their servants.

The novel opens after the Delivery Act has decreed all surface humans are ‘equal’. Narrated by Pearl, a young techie with a thread of shuvani blood, she navigates the complex social hierarchies and monstrous, ever-changing landscape. But a radical attack close to home forces her to question what she knew about herself and the world around her.

DNF’d at:

65%

What I liked:

Marian Womack has a very distinct writing voice that is very descriptive and almost surreal, and it really pulls me in. It’s something I don’t think everyone will like, but I’m partial to it and the way she pulls me into the world. Speaking of which, the world in this book is *chef’s kiss*. Future dystopian where everything’s gone a bit wonky, in case you couldn’t tell by the giant carnivorous bunnies. Humanity isn’t doing so hot in this new setting, as one might expect, and that sets the stage for a really interesting scenario.

Fatal Flaw:

The plot was very disjointed and hard for me to follow. It’s told in split timelines with time jumps and a very dreamy, vague quality about it that might work for some but not for me. I tried this book repeatedly. I kept going back to it and picking it up, but I just had such a hard time following it that I eventually set it down and gave up. It was also pretty slow, which I expect from literary fiction in general (at least slow for my tastes), and I felt like I never really understood or was pulled into the plot.

Eight Will Fall

Pitched as Six of Crows meets Suicide Squad, this dark YA fantasy follows eight criminals as they battle their way through a subterranean realm of horrors and certain death.

In a world where magic is illegal, eight criminals led by rebellious Larkin are sent on a mission to rid their realm of an ancient evil lurking beneath the surface. Descending into a world full of unspeakable horrors, Larkin and her crew must use their forbidden magic to survive.

As they fight in the shadows, Larkin finds a light in Amias, a fellow outlaw with a notorious past. Soon, Larkin and Amias realize that their destinies are intertwined. The eight of them were chosen for a reason.

But as the beasts grow in number and her band is picked off one by one, Larkin is forced to confront a terrible truth: They were never meant to return.

DNF’d at:

2.5 hours (25%)

What I liked:

There was a lot of action out of the gate that immediately pulled me in and made me very curious about this world. I had such high hopes for it, because the opening definitely grabbed me! The setting and premise is an interesting one that I think will definitely appeal to some readers.

Fatal Flaw:

I don’t know where that pitch comp comes from. I enjoyed Six of Crows, and I enjoyed Suicide Squad. This? I could not get into it. I listened to the audiobook, which may have been the actual fatal flaw (which I’m pretty sure is my fault and not the book’s). There were just too many characters, and they all sounded the same in the audiobook, so I was extremely confused and couldn’t keep them straight. Someone would be mentioned, and I’d go, “I’m sorry, who?” I also kind of just got bored and either couldn’t follow the plot or had no interest in following it. It’s hard to tell with audiobooks sometimes.

Let Sleeping Dragons Lie

Sir Odo and Sir Eleanor still think of themselves as unlikely knights. But when their kingdom is threatened by forces of signifant nefariousness, they and their talking swords join a bold quest to rescue a monarch, vanquish deadly beasts, confound a prophecy, and (if they’re lucky) avoid stepping on the tail of a very powerful dragon.

DNF’d at:

. . . no idea?! Probably around 30%?

What I liked:

Sir Eleanor and Sir Odo, along with their talking swords (which you all know how much I love these!) are a riot to travel with. They’re not fantastic knights, but they get the job done. The swords themselves are hilarious and delightful. It’s a funny little romp of a book that I listened to on audiobook, which made it even more enjoyable, I think, than just reading it, because the narrator did a fantastic job.

Fatal Flaw:

I don’t even know. I fizzled out of this one? There wasn’t much happening, especially compared with the first book, and it just didn’t grab my attention. I found that I was tuning it out, and I’d go for blocks of time without even paying attention to the story and need to re-listen to it. This didn’t strike me as charming and fun as the first book, and after avoiding listening to it for a while, I just decided to set it aside. I may return to it if there’s ever another book released in the series, though!

Hollow Kingdom

One pet crow fights to save humanity from an apocalypse in this uniquely hilarious debut from a genre-bending literary author.

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle’s wild crows (those idiots), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®.

Then Big Jim’s eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to feel like something isn’t quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies–from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim’s loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis–fail to cure Big Jim’s debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he discovers that the neighbors are devouring each other and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle. Humanity’s extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow whose knowledge of the world around him comes from his TV-watching education.

DNF’d at:

Around 60%? Ish?

What I liked:

This book started off utterly hilarious and charming. S.T. has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor, which I absolutely love. Makes him a wonderful narrator. Being able to “see” the world from the point of view of a crow is very interesting, too. This was a super unique take on the zombie apocalypse and its aftermath, and I thought that aspect of it was so gripping.

Fatal Flaw:

This is another one that sort of fizzled. Though, I’ve never been a huge fan of animal protagonist books to stat with, so the fact that I loved it from the start says something right there. Somewhere along the way, the book just started dragging, and I found myself incredibly bored by it. The plot seemed to slow to a crawl, and it took an immense amount of effort to convince myself to continue it, even though I loved the first part so much. I still want to know what happened. Quick, someone send me a spoiler-laden message so I know what the heck happened to S.T. and his crew! I suspect I’ll pick this one back up at some point when I’ve got a little more free time and some more patience when it comes to reading books, because I really do want to know how it ends!

Geekerella

Cinderella goes to the con in this fandom-fueled twist on the classic fairy tale.

Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first.

Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise.

DNF’d at:

21% audiobook

What I liked:

. . . SKIP!

Fatal Flaw:

Nothing of note actually really happened, except for characters whining about their life/situation and just . . . not doing anything about it? Even though they definitely could have. I didn’t feel like the basic Cinderella structure fit well in this story, because it didn’t make sense. The blatant nonsensical decisions and actions of characters repeatedly pulled me out of the story as my brain screamed, “But that’s not how things work! That’s not actually a thing!” Add this to the fact that the characters were shallows and their actions/intentions were unexplained and just didn’t make sense to me, and it was pretty clear that this book and I were not going to have a good time of it.

So many of you sung the praises of this book so much that I feel just a teensy bit betrayed! It’s like being set up on a blind date that’s absolutely nothing like what you’re looking for, and you have to stop and wonder, Do these people even know me at all?! Okay, so maybe not that bad. But still. I wanted to love it, because so many other bloggers have and it just didn’t work out for me.

Kings of the Wyld

Clay Cooper and his band were once the best of the best — the meanest, dirtiest, most feared crew of mercenaries this side of the Heartwyld.

Their glory days long past, the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk – or a combination of the three. Then an ex-bandmate turns up at Clay’s door with a plea for help. His daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy one hundred thousand strong and hungry for blood. Rescuing Rose is the kind of mission that only the very brave or the very stupid would sign up for.

It’s time to get the band back together for one last tour across the Wyld.

DNF’d at:

20%

What I liked:

Everything. Every. Dang. Thing. The protagonists are older and past their glory days, but dang it, they’re forced out of retirement because of stupid headstrong kids that act just like their freaking fathers and how dare they. So the gang all gets back together, right? Except the gang is several decades older and has a dragon’s hoard worth of baggage to deal with, and none of their lives have exactly turned out as expected. So it’s easier said than done. It’s funny. It’s filled with action. The world is extremely interesting.

Fatal Flaw:

The library. LIBRARIES! Ugh. Actually, I started this during a pretty busy time school-wise, so I ended up having it checked out for six weeks and didn’t make much progress. And there was someone on hold for it. And she knew I had it. She also knew where I worked (which, duh, it’s at the library, so that’s not rocket science). She was judging me hard because she was waiting (im)patiently to read the dang thing, especially after I mentioned how good it was so far. I mean, she didn’t say any of that, but I could definitely hear her thinking it. So I turned it back in. I plan to pick up both this and the sequel as soon as I get some free time between classes!

To Bleed A Crystal Bloom

What a pretty flower to keep locked in a big, rocky tower.

Nineteen years ago, I was plucked from the heart of a bloody massacre that spared nobody else.

Small. Fragile. An enigma.

Now ward to a powerful High Master who knows too much and says too little, I lead a simple life, never straying from the confines of an imaginary line I’ve drawn around the castle grounds. Stay within. Never leave. Out there, the monsters lurk. Inside, I’m safe … though at a cost far greater than the blood I drip into a goblet daily. Toxic, unreciprocated love for a man who’s utterly unavailable.

My savior. My protector. My almost executioner.

I can’t help but be enamored with the arcane man who holds the power to pull my roots from the ground.

When voracious beasts spill across the land and threaten to fray the fabric of my tailored existence, the petals of reality will peel back to reveal an ugly truth. But in a castle puddled with secrets, none are greater than the one I’ve kept from myself.

No tower is tall enough to protect me from the horror that tore my life to shreds.

DNF’d at:

20%

What I liked:

The world and situation seemed interesting enough?

Fatal Flaw:

None of the characters felt fleshed out, and their actions didn’t make sense. There was a very creepy, unhealthy romance between the protagonist and her “captor” that feels a lot like grooming, which is a hard no for me. It also seemed like it was potentially setting up for a love triangle. However, I didn’t feel any sort of spark or romance between any of these characters. At the point I stopped, I also sort of just felt like nothing at all was really happening except the protagonist sulking around the castle and that’s about it.

How To Train Your Dad

Twelve-year-old Carl is fed up with his father’s single-minded pursuit of an off-the-grid existence. His dad may be brilliant, but dumpster-diving for food, scouring through trash for salvageable junk, and wearing clothes fully sourced from garage sales is getting old. Increasingly worried about what schoolmates and a certain girl at his new school might think of his circumstances–and encouraged by his off-kilter best friend–Carl adopts the principles set forth in a randomly discovered puppy-training pamphlet to “retrain” his dad’s mindset . . . a crackpot experiment that produces some very unintentional results.

This is a fierce and funny novel about family, green-living, and untangling some of the ties that bind from middle-grade master Gary Paulsen.

DNF’d at:

10%

What I liked:

Gary Paulsen wrote it, and it’s one of his last works before he passed, and some of his earlier books were my first literary loves. The blurb also sounds utterly adorable and fun.

Fatal Flaw:

I know I said I usually give a book 15%, but I could tell early on that I wasn’t going to like this one. The writing style on this was just not for me, and I couldn’t get over it. I have ADHD, and my husband can (and will) attest that I sometimes get very rambly and will speak in paragraphs rather than sentences. Also, randomness. Even given that, I couldn’t follow these sentences. They were sometimes so convoluted that I had to read them multiple times to parse them. Carl’s voice was really hard for me, too, since he would change topics suddenly mid-paragraph and go all over the place.

Black Boy Joy

Black boy joy is…

Picking out a fresh first-day-of-school outfit.
Saving the universe in an epic intergalactic race.
Finding your voice—and your rhymes—during tough times.
Flying on your skateboard like nobody’s watching.

And more! From seventeen acclaimed Black male and non-binary authors comes a vibrant collection of stories, comics, and poems about the power of joy and the wonders of Black boyhood.

DNF’d at:

55%

What I liked:

The premise of this book is *chef’s kiss*. I think it’s a super important one to make available to kids. It’s literally just Black boys being their fantastic selves. The stories are all very different, so there’s a little bit of something for every taste. Plus, they only focus on joy and positive things, even if there’s still conflict and doubt in the story, which makes this an altogether uplifting anthology to read!

Fatal Flaw:

This book really isn’t written for me (which isn’t the flaw it sounds like, but I’m just throwing it out there). So I burned out on it pretty quickly. At the time I was reading it, what I really wanted was a story or a series of stories, and the shorts in this anthology just didn’t fit the bill. There were some I really enjoyed. But some just didn’t really have a plot or point except a happy moment/feeling for the author. Which is legit, but not what I wanted at the time. Still one I’d highly recommend for others, but not for me.

The Final Empire

For a thousand years the ash fell and no flowers bloomed. For a thousand years the Skaa slaved in misery and lived in fear. For a thousand years the Lord Ruler, the “Sliver of Infinity,” reigned with absolute power and ultimate terror, divinely invincible. Then, when hope was so long lost that not even its memory remained, a terribly scarred, heart-broken half-Skaa rediscovered it in the depths of the Lord Ruler’s most hellish prison. Kelsier “snapped” and found in himself the powers of a Mistborn. A brilliant thief and natural leader, he turned his talents to the ultimate caper, with the Lord Ruler himself as the mark.

Kelsier recruited the underworld’s elite, the smartest and most trustworthy allomancers, each of whom shares one of his many powers, and all of whom relish a high-stakes challenge. Then Kelsier reveals his ultimate dream, not just the greatest heist in history, but the downfall of the divine despot.

But even with the best criminal crew ever assembled, Kel’s plan looks more like the ultimate long shot, until luck brings a ragged girl named Vin into his life. Like him, she’s a half-Skaa orphan, but she’s lived a much harsher life. Vin has learned to expect betrayal from everyone she meets. She will have to learn trust if Kel is to help her master powers of which she never dreamed.

DNF’d at:

25%

What I liked:

Brandon Sanderson is an utterly amazing author when it comes to . . . well, almost everything? Magic? Check. Creating a developed, lived-in world that feels real? Check. A squad of characters that’s pithy and sarcastic and definitely worth spending some time with? Also check.

Fatal Flaw:

I DON’T KNOW, GUYS. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?! I have tried this book no less than five times now. I get a little further each time, but I still haven’t finished it. I feel a little vindicated by the fact that my brother-in-law also struggled with this book. Of course, he had the time and luxury to push through and get it done, and he enjoyed the rest of the series much more. So one of these days, yes, that’s what I will do. I swear. I’m pretty sure this is the year hubby will smother me in my sleep if I don’t finish this dang book and talk to him about it, because he’s been waiting for years. Possibly even a decade by now? Who knows?

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