Loveless by Alice Oseman || A Coming-of-Age Asexual “Romance”

Loveless

For fans of Love, Simon and I Wish You All the Best, a funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of a girl who realizes that love can be found in many ways that don't involve sex or romance.

From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone . . . since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection.

This is the funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of Georgia, who doesn't understand why she can't crush and kiss and make out like her friends do. She's surrounded by the narrative that dating + sex = love. It's not until she gets to college that she discovers the A range of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum -- coming to understand herself as asexual/aromantic. Disrupting the narrative that she's been told since birth isn't easy -- there are many mistakes along the way to inviting people into a newly found articulation of an always-known part of your identity. But Georgia's determined to get her life right, with the help of (and despite the major drama of) her friends.

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Perfect for readers who want:

• Coming-of-age story and coming out.
• Asexual (sex repulsed) representation.
• An ode to friendship and platonic relationships.
• F/F romance and adorable banter.
• Characters who are utterly relatable.

Many thanks to Scholastic Press and Rockstar Book Tours for an ARC in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. Quotes taken from an unfinished product and may differ from the final version.

I have had this book recommended more times than I can count, and I sort of never took them seriously. Loveless definitely isn’t the sort of book I typically read. I avoid romance like the plague, and contemporary fiction is one of my least favorite genres. However, it seemed like everyone had read this book except me, so when I saw a blog tour for it pop up, it felt like the universe was handing me a sign to finally read the thing. So I did!

Loveless is a romance novel for asexuals, a love letter to those still trying to find themselves and where they fit. It’s filled with platonic love, coming of age, and friendships stronger than any romance could be.

I’m going to be honest: I didn’t love this book (asexual romance jokes unintended). Contemporary is still one of my least favorite genres, and the plot of this story is really about coming of age, so the story felt like it dragged. However, what I did love was the ace rep! As an asexual myself who had also never been kissed at seventeen, I think this story is so important for the representation it does provide, and I so wish I had had a book like this at that age. Not that I would’ve read it, honestly, because . . . contemporary romance! But that’s not the point.

Loveless is basically a romance novel for asexuals . . . by which I mean, it’s about discovering one’s romantic identity and learning to be proud of who you are and that there’s nothing at all wrong with you. Which is, obviously, a fantastic freaking message.

It sounds a little weird to say “romance novel” and “asexual” in the same sentence, but asexuals can also enjoy romantic things like rom-coms and Harry/Draco fanfiction (Georgia, not me—I’m more of a Grindledore woman myself). So what I mean when I say a romance novel for asexuals, I mean that the main character, Georgia, is looking for romance in her life while undergoing a personal journey as she comes out—both to herself and her friends—as asexual.

This isn’t an easy journey, and I’d caution potentially sensitive readers that there is a lot of inner narrative and monologue where Georgia wonders what’s wrong with her (spoiler alert: absolutely nothing). There’s also a considerable amount of peer pressure and bullying that is sometimes hard to get through, and you’ll likely want to reach through the pages and slap some of the characters. All in all, though, if it’s not triggering, it is a beautiful story of self-discovery.

Don’t get me wrong, though: Loveless isn’t just for asexuals. While it’s definitely the sort of story that I think aces could relate to, at least to some extent, it’s also an eye-opening look for heteronormative readers about what it’s like to be asexual. Plus, it’s got some great anti-bullying and even sex-positive messages (though, on that latter one, it feels walked back a little toward the end of the book, which was kind of a bummer).

Georgia is an extremely relatable protagonist, and what struck me most about her is how she was so different from me but still so utterly similar.

I mean, she reads Harry Potter fanfiction! Which, now that I think about it, isn’t that uncommon. She also happens to be an introvert who would rather do just about anything instead of going clubbing, and I feel that sentiment right in my soul. The character just feels so fleshed out and obviously confused and just trying to live her best life at uni, and if that isn’t the most relatable thing, I don’t know what is.

Even though Georgia and I have very different ace identities, there were still things she thought that really caught me in the feels. Like the peer pressure of wanting to be like everyone else and not knowing why she isn’t and struggling to accept that. Or . . . kissing. I mean, I get her struggle. I’m not sex repulsed, but French kissing is pretty gross. Sorry, but someone had to say it.

The focus of Loveless ends up being on platonic relationships and friendships, and this is such a freaking important message that I absolutely loved it and wished more books included it.

It’s not a secret that I’m not a huge fan of romance books. I’m also not the sort who believes that every book needs a romance, even if the industry seems to think so. Even though the main plot of the story is Georgia searching for love, the real story is that she’s already found it . . . several times over! Because platonic love is definitely a thing, and she’s got some fabulous friends.

I think the emphasis on friendships is a thing that’s sometimes lacking in YA, but it’s such an important narrative. I loved seeing the friends interact and struggle through this new setting of university together and supporting each other.

The side characters are ridiculously fun and fleshed out, which made them a joy to spend time with.

It’s no secret that I absolutely love banter, and this book is really good at it. The side characters don’t feel like background scenery. They have personalities and interests and cute little idiosyncrasies that will endear the reader to them. Plus, the side characters themselves are diverse, which I love. But mostly, they just click together like this adorable squad that obviously belongs with each other, even as they’re at each other’s throats arguing (*cough*Pip and Rooney*cough*).

Asexuality is a spectrum, so a book like Loveless obviously represents one asexual experience and not all of them. That should be sort of obvious, but it’s something that I’d like to caution readers going in, including asexuals, who may or may not find themselves relating to Georgia’s struggle.

This isn’t really a sticking point. I mean, the author is writing from one perspective: Georgia’s. It would be unrealistic to expect her to cover the entire asexual spectrum. I only add this as a sticking point to make sure readers are aware that Georgia’s story may not hit home for them, even if they are asexual themselves.

I’m asexual, but I’m not sex repulsed like Georgia. In high school, I felt pressure to be in a relationship, but nobody where I was from cared whether you had sex or kissed someone by 18. It just wasn’t a pressure I felt personally, and I didn’t think anything was wrong with me, nor did anyone make me feel like there was, even though I knew some of my friends were already sexually active.

So this is just here to say that if you go in expecting to relate hardcore to Georgia and you don’t, that’s okay! That doesn’t mean you’re not ace, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.

About Alice Oseman

Alice Oseman was born in 1994 in Kent, England. She graduated from Durham University and is the author of YA contemporaries Solitaire, Radio Silence, and I Was Born for This. Visit Alice online at aliceoseman.com or on Twitter @AliceOseman.

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3 winners will receive a finished copy of LOVELESS, US Only.

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